Skull tattoos, ITunes, and Spazzy McSpazzerson

January 21, 2005

It's apparently what the cool kids are doing.. go to your ITunes, hit Party Shuffle, and list the first 10 songs that randomly come up:
1. Symphony version of November Rain
2. Quicksand Jesus - Skid Row
3. Live version of Patience from the GN'R concert in London a few years ago.
4. Old Red - Blake Shelton
5. The Sun - Maroon 5
6. The Blues, Live - Guns N Roses
7. Turn the Page - Bob Seger
8. Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
9. Nothin Great about a Heartache - Bad 4 Good (a band I liked when I was 12 years old, purely because Danny Cooksey, the guy from Salute Your Shorts, was in it)
10. Lullabye - James

Yeah man.

I am mainly writing today to cover my last entry, because I'm really a little ashamed of it. Man, I'm a whore.

Well, not totally a whore. At least Mike doesn't think so, because I went to his place last night and STILL NO KISSING! Lots of good cuddling and togetherness, but NO KISSING! It was a little bit frustrating, to tell you the truth! But that's okay. It was just a second date. Let's not call the date police just yet.

In other Mike news: I'm fucked. He has a tattoo on his arm that I've never seen before. It's of a SKULL! I'm sorry, but that makes my pants go a little fucking crazy. I've never dated a guy with a tattoo before, and well.. mrow, is all I have to say about that. He also has a very clean and cozy apartment. We watched The Apprentice and part of You've Got Mail. I happen to know that he is a big fan of chick movies. He even admitted that one of his favorite movies is How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I mean, how cute is that? I practically had to drug Matt's food to get him to see a movie with me at all, but this one likes him some chick flicks. It's cute.

I'm not sure if we'll be hanging out this weekend.. he didn't bring it up and I didn't either because.. I don't know. I don't want to be annoying. Plus, I had a bit of a spaz problem last night that doesn't exactly guarentee me a prime weekend spot. I don't know.. I'm not used to this. I don't know what the rules are, and I don't even know if I would play by them if I did. He makes me nervous, in a really good way, but sometimes that just doesn't translate well, if you know what I mean.

I'm weird.

When I got home last night, I also felt like reminding myself that just barely 2 weeks ago, Mike and I were at the bank, talking about where we live for some reason. And then here comes last night, and I was in his apartment, and we were all snuggly, and it's just weird how things change like that.

I really hope I don't fuck this up. But.. I might. And that's okay. I'm really trying to tell myself that that's okay. It would suck if I did, but it's still okay. There's other boys out there, even if they don't live 10 minutes from me and have skull tattoos and love chick flicks.

*takes a deep breath*

Also.. I seem to have almost completely lost my appetite as of late. Yesterday I had:
1. Half a donut
2. A Sausage roll
3. A meximelt
4. Some yogurt

And that's it! And I wasn't even hungry. That is so very bizarre for me! What is up with that? It's not like I'm really stressed about what Mike thinks about me.. he's stressed the fact that he thinks I'm hot. So.. I really have no idea.

But it's a nice change.. when I first started dating Matt it's like he unlocked the food demon that was living inside of me. We were total food enablers the entire 5 years we were together. Hence, why I gained like, 40 pounds.

In completely different news, tomorrow will mark a whole year that I've been back in Dallas. Austin is really just a fading memory now, which is kinda sad, but not really. It was a good year for me in terms of growing up, but I'm glad I'm leaving it behind now. I've got me a new boy, some job experience, some good churchy friends, some lost weight, some confidence, and some knowledge that I can completely and totally live without a person named Matt. So.. I'm good. I just need that job now, and everything will totally rock my ass off.

Tomorrow will also mark a year that I've lived with my roommate. We STILL have never had an arguement about ANYTHING! Is that even normal? I would like to take this opportunity to heartily thank Roommates.com for providing me with such a normal and sane person to live with.

Wow.. a year. It's kinda hard to believe, really.

At least Zach Braff apparently heard my plea and finally updated his blog. I heart me some Zach.

I feel like this is going to be a boring weekend.

Also, I still need closure. I'll work on that.

Yark.

*****

2 years...
"I keep thinking about the day he just decides to come see me. I don't know if that day will ever come, but meanwhile I keep thinking about it. I miss him. I totally want to get back together. But I guess I just have to suck it up, cuz that doesn't appear to be happening any time soon."

3 years...
"The constant running dialogue in my head - "You're fat you're fat you're fat you're fat.. you went to CiCi's for dinner even though you had pizza yesterday.. you just worked out, you fat lazy loser.. fat ass.. you're fat, you're fat, you're fat.." occasionaly co-mingled with "Where is BB? Why hasn't he called me today? Should I call him? I'm getting a little worried!" Followed by "DO YOUR DAMN HOMEWORK YOU LAZY BITCH!"