You were mine!

January 26, 2005

Thanks for all your words of support yesterday.. I was just having an unnecessary mental breakdown. A girl has to have one of those every once in a while, you know?

Mike and I talked last night.. I got his side of the story, and he got my side of the story, and there was giggling, and a little flirting. Supposedly he will be coming over tonight, but I don't want to get my hopes up. As we all know, for some reason there's nothing else in this world that makes me more unreasonably mad then when I expect to see a boy and then something happens and I can't see him.

But since this is technically our third date and there hasn't been any yet, I am expecting some kissing to occur. I don't know why I'm so adament about this kissing thing.. I guess I don't really feel like it's real until the kissing happens. I'm weird.

What I have to keep in mind about this boy is that he's not a traditional "rules" kind of guy. Well, at least I know that now. At least I know that he'd much rather be appreciative of me calling him and letting him know that I dig him than freaked out that I'm showing interest. Okay.. I get that now. This is good. We're testing boundaries and figuring things out about each other, and it's exciting, and good times. But hopefully at some point things will get easier and we won't have to be analyzing every single thing. Hopefully.

So now my unfortunate mental breakdown is over, and I am back to obnoxiously singing songs from my iPod at top volume in my car. "You Were Mine" by the Dixie Chicks is a great song for that purpose, as I learned today on my way to work. It's also one of the most depressing songs ever in the world. See lyrics below for shits and giggles.

In other news, I talked to Matt for about 3 minutes yesterday. It was just long enough to confirm that yes, he is still a selfish prick bastard, and yes, I am still over him, and yes, I am glad that now I have a more responsible and stable, not to mention cuter, boy in my life. Good to know. Also? In the entire year I've lived in my apartment, Matt hasn't come over once. Mike has already been over once and might possibly come over again tonight. I think that says a lot.

Last night I had to run out and purchase Some Kind of Monster, the Metallica documentary, because I am a big dork. I watched most of it last night with the commentary from the band, which just really rocked my ass off. Also? James Hetfield makes a pair of jeans look good. I'm just sayin.. mrow!

Look! Axl Rose actually did something! No, it's not about an album or a tour or anything, but he actually did a thing! That's a step in the right direction, Axl! Keep it coming!

I have an interview today, as evident by my blue and black interview shirt. Keep your fingers crossed.

Also, Paul Giamatti got robbed of an Oscar nomination. That man was genius in Sideways. GENIUS! Plus, he was Pig Vomit in Private Parts. That means he'll always have mega points in my book.

That is all. Tonight I have to go home and boy-proof my apartment so that he doesn't know that I'm a huge slob. I'm also going to make cookies so he'll know that I can be domestic. I swear, the lengths I go to for boys.

*****

2 years ago.. (aka The Most Pathetic Time in Elizabeth's Entire Life)
"I like talking to him and I like feeling like I'm the only person he can talk to. He just told me " You are my rocksolid inspiration, and I think you rule.. " it gets me off knowing that I can help him in this way, but it still leaves me hanging. It makes me feel like by having that motherfucking girlfriend, he's betraying the intimacy we have between us right now. And that's not fair for either of us."

3 years...
"So last night I went to a concert by myself to do a review. Bowling for Soup = Bowling for Poop. They were okay, but the numerous gay jokes and fat jokes and booger jokes got a little tired after a while. I wanted to yell at them, "SHUT UP! JUST PLAY YOUR CRAPPY ASS SONGS ALREADY!" I think I was probably supposed to stay for the whole show, but around 1:45 I got tired of it and left."

"You Were Mine"

I Can't Find A Reason To Let Go
Even Though You've Found A New Love
And She's What Your Dreams Are Made Of
I Can Find A Reason To Hang On
What Went Wrong Can Be Forgiven
Without You, It Ain't Worth Livin' Alone

[Chorus #1:]
Sometimes I Wake Up Crying At Night
And Sometimes I Scream Out Your Name
What Right Does She Have To Take You Away
When For So Long, You Were Mine

I Took Out All The Pictures Of Our Wedding Day
It Was A Time Of Love And Laughter
Happy Ever After
But Even Those Old Pictures Have Begun To Fade
Please Tell Me She's Not Real
And That You're Really Coming Home To Stay

[Chorus #2:]
Sometimes I Wake Up Crying At Night
And Sometimes I Scream Out Your Name
What Right Does She Have To Take Your Heart Away
When For So Long, You Were Mine

I Can Give You Two Good Reasons
To Show You Love's Not Blind
He's Two And She's Four, And You Know They Adore You
So How Can I Tell Them You've Changed Your Mind

[Chorus #2]

I Remember When You Were Mine