The return of Bitter McChesty, Yoko Ono empathy, and sexual frustration

July 18, 2005

I have decided that it may be necessary to go through the obligatory Beatles phase at some point in the near future. I cam to this conclusion while working on the 2-hour John Lennon documentary, Imagine, at work all day.

I mean, I know the Beatles, I'm familiar with the concept and the lore and the hysteria and all that, but I've just never been a huge fan. In fact, I'll change the station if a Beatles song comes on most of the time, except for "I am the Walrus," which I just like to laugh at.

But John Lennon was one fascinating guy. And I feel bad for Yoko Ono! I mean, yeah, when she came into John's life she pretty much did cause the end of an era, but that wasn't really her fault! She and John were SOULMATES, people! She just unlocked the peace loving hippie that was locked inside him while he was out there trying to be a part of mainstream society as a Beatle. She freed him, man! Yeeaah.

Anyway, where would I start educating myself about the the music and everything else of the Beatles? I know some of you out there are fans and can tell me where I should begin. Is there a book that I absolutely have to read? I know that as soon as possible I will be buying John Lennon's Legend CD, if not only for his version of "Stand By Me."

Anyway.

In other news, I can't recall a time where I've ever been as completely boy crazy as I am at this moment in my life. I'm really kinda starting to worry about myself a little!

Not to mention I'm so sexually frustrated I'm about to hire a male escort or something. I mean, really, who does a girl have to sleep with to get some sex around here?

It's gotten so bad that I've had dreams about Josh for 3 or 4 nights in a row now. Why Josh? I really don't know, other than he's the only boy I've ever had sex with more than 3 times. And oh was it ever more than 3 times. I actually miss the guy, and believe me, there is something very wrong with that. He was not a nice guy. It took me a long time to get over him and all the emotional trauma crap that came with it.

But...I miss his sexy voice and his red hair and the crazy sex we'd have. I miss that whole "We're teenagers and we're going to have this torrid love affair and conquer all our problems with the strength of our passion for each other!" kinda thing. I've tried looking him up online, but to no avail. It's weird, but none of my ex-boyfriends seem to exist in the void of the internet. It's like I made them all up in my head or something. I mean, it's REALLY easy to find me on the internet, I'm all over the place, from Nanowrimo to my college newspaper. But all my ex-boyfriends seem to never have existed at all.

That was a tangent, but that's okay.

My point is that I wish I could talk to him, and I'm having all these weird fantasies, and it's making me feel dirty. Why am I just totally incapable of getting over ex-boyfriends for good? There's always a reason as to why they're an ex, and usually a good one. But for some reason...I've never really sucessfully been able to get most of them out of my head.

But at least with the Josh thing, it gave me an awesome idea for a short story that I've already started writing. I even wrote some of it in my little notebook on my lunch break today! I'm such a professional.

Or something.

Things with Eric the No-Caller No-Show are non-existent. I haven't talked to him since class on Wednesday. That makes me sad, but not so much anymore. I mean, sometimes you click with someone and sometimes you don't. I felt like I did with him, but apparently he wasn't feeling the love. And besides, his constant alcohol consumption would really be a problem in the whole scheme of things.

So, really, it's a good thing. I guess.

Also, today I woke up 5 minutes before I was supposed to leave for work, and thus a co-worker informs me around 5:00 today that my shirt is inside out. Oh, okay.

That is all. Go in peace.

Here is a shout-out to Ali-Kat because she rules. Muah.

*****

1
"He was all, "In all the stuff we've done together in 7 years, you won't do PHONE SEX?" No, I won't. A girl has to have SOME morals, you know!"

3
"I want to discuss the female orgasm."

4
"I think I should just change my name to Bitter McChesty."