My boyfriend's waterbed

March 08, 2006

Blargh. Last night I spent the night at Josh's. Incidentally, it's the first time I've been in his house since the last time 9 freakin' years ago. His room seems a whole lot smaller than it used to be for some reason.

Anyway...it sucked so very much to leave that house this morning. There were lots of early morning kisses and longing looks and pleadings of "just call in sick!" and such. I did not want to tear myself away from that boy's arms.

And when I have mornings like this when I can't imagine ever wanting to be with anyone else ever in my life, I wonder why I sent that letter to Matt, why I ever spend any time thinking about him at all, when I have this gorgeous, super sexy redhead with blue eyes that loves me with every fiber of his being and makes sure that I know that. With Matt, it was almost like I had to guess if he ever even liked me in the first place. I know Josh loves me. I know he wants to be with me. And that's a nice feeling.

Something that did suck a little was that, after I went to bed at 11:00-ish, he played Halo 2 until, like, 3 in the morning. Now, when I spent the night at Matt's he'd always stay up until then, doing whatever the hell he did on his stupid goddamn computer all night, so I'm used to that. What I was not used to was the fact that Josh had this little headset used for communicating with his "team" and yelling at people not on his team. That...was not fun. I think I might refrain from spending the night when I have to be at work at 7 in the morning.

It was funny cuz when I came over yesterday his parents were all, "You should know where everything is!" but yet his dad still had to tell me where Josh's room was. It's been a long time! My memory is not what it used to be.

Anyway. Yeah. I don't think this relationship is ever going to have consistency. I'm either wishing for more alone time or wishing that I could spend every goddamn second with this boy. He is amazing. The sex is amazing. His lips are amazing. He makes me feel amazing. He's my smushins and I love him so very much. But...there's always the but. I still don't know. I don't know if I'll ever know. And that's really annoying.

In other news, I captioned Fight Club on Monday. Now, of course I've seen this movie, but to sit there and caption every word of it is a different experience. Wow, what a mindfuck of a movie. Seriously. Damn. And I think we can all appreciate the fine work of one Mr. Brad Pitt in that piece of cinematic joy. Ahh, Brad.

Also, Myspace turned interesting again yesterday when I got an email from Patrick, someone I haven't even talked to in 10 damn years. He wanted to apologize for being an ass monkey. He seemed to really be upset about it, too. The only reason why I used to care about his assholeness was because I had a semi-crush on him. So that was interesting. He ended his email by saying, "You were right, INXS did, and still does, rock." Heh, INXS. I went through a phase once, you know. Michael Hutchence...*sigh*

We have no bosses today and as a result I'm slacking major hardcore. I'm doing Nip/Tuck, which isn't a bad show to do, but it is failing to keep my attention when my attention is on my boyfriend and his waterbed. *sigh*

I think, in closing, that I will share with you a particular paragraph from the email that Matt's girlfriend sent me that really amused me and made me crazy at the same time. Now it just amuses me because I'm just...done. Whatever. Fuck off. But I think it's so amusing how proud she is of their little life together when I had that same stupid life just a few years ago. But I'm sure it will amuse you as much as it did me because we are all snarky bastards.

******

I know that Matt was a big part of your life for many years. I just wanted to fill you in on some of the things that are going on with him, just in case you are curious. *Matt's former roommate and roommate's daughter* moved down the street to a house of their own, and now I live here with Matt. We have a mini schnauzer named Sadie. Yes I know you think she is ugly. Matt is still going to school, but he is currently working on getting teacher certification for Sociology. He teaches Psychology at a junior college. He loves it so much. He really feels like he found his calling with teaching. He is teaching traditional classes as well as online classes. He is working on certification for Sociology so he can teach that as well. He bought a new car. It's a very nice Chevrolet Impala. I was proud of him for choosing a nice car for himself. Bailey is getting old- We didn't get rid of bailey though. Matt couldn't part with her. We are currently remodeling the house. It is a lot of work, but fun at the same time. Hhmmm We spend a lot of time at American Airlines Center going to concerts and Mavs games. I'm a big fan of concerts of all types, and I'm a huge Mavs fan. I know you probably do not care to hear this, but Matt and I really are a great match. He is still all about the road trips as I'm sure you could have guessed. We have a lot in common, but not too much to make things boring.

Awww.

That is all.