A survey, wanting my mommy, and Axl.

January 04, 2005

I feel like shit today. My shirt doesn't fit, my iPod isn't charged, I think I'm getting sick again (the ears are definitely itching), my dad is all up in my business, my boss is talking about things I really couldn't care less about, and all I want to do is go home and go to bed.

I have, however, applied to 3 different jobs and sent 3 different "I want to be YOUR intern" emails today, so that's good. My dad is apparently giving me 90 days to find another job. Which is fair, seeing that this job was only supposed to last 90 days in the first place. Sooo.. here we go.

I REALLY need to get my eyebrows waxed, but I just don't have the patience today. I also need to work out. I haven't worked out in months, and that's soso bad, and I keep dreading it, but that's silly, because when I'm in the habit of getting off my ass and working out at least 5 times a week, I feel so much better about myself, everything looks and fits better, and I don't dread doing it at all. I just have to get back into it again. Blah. Blah blah blah.

I also REALLY need to start writing the novel, but I know why I'm being such a procastinating bitch about it: if I fuck this novel up, than what will I have? What dreams can I still fulfill if I can't even publish a novel? Yeah. I know. I just have to do it. I have the beginning in mind.. it starts with graduating from college. It's going to be funny witty, and at the same time, it's going to be serious and have morals and a message that I want all twenty-somethings to relate to. I know I can do this, but it still terrifies me. It terrifies me more than spiders.

On another note, if you are a fairly new reader of me, or if you haven't checked it out yet, I strongly advise you to read my entry about the Guns N Roses concert that I attended 3 years ago. I wrote about it exactly 3 years ago to this day, and it gives me warm feelings inside:

"However, I was dissapointed in a few things. First, I kinda wanted to see his tattoos and his big pretty muscular arms, but he always wore a jacket, so I didn't get to see that. He didn't sing Don't Cry, which was dissapointing to me. And there was about a 20 minute period that included a hideously long solo from Buckethead and then 2 or 3 songs I had never heard. This was when I thought BB was about to check out of the place. He looked like he was going to throw up from all the smoke in the place, anyway. But then some lesbians started making out behind him and he was revitalized. It was an amazing transformation."

*sigh* Memories.

I feel like it's important to note that after I went grocery shopping last night (For shampoo, Time magazine, some acne stuff, some pretzels, some white bread, and a pizza to replace the pizza I stole from my roommate), I had this moment of semi depression when I was coming out of the store with my cart. I would remember how I'd do all my grocery shopping with Matt every week and when we came out of the store, he'd push the cart really hard so it went careening towards my car at a crazy pace.
For some reason, I miss that. I miss not being alone. I miss doing the simple things with the one person I loved the most. I don't like being alone anymore.. I want someone else. And I feel like I'm the only one who's jeopardizing myself so that I don't get the things I want. It really sucks to have that feeling, really. Bah.
> That was just a tangent I felt like going on, so, yeah.
I feel like I'm about to burst into tears at any second, and I'm not quite sure why. This isn't PMS.. I just don't feel good. I want my mommy.

Here's a survey I borrowed from Aras.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Liz
2. Elizabeth
3. Bootie (my eternal nickname from my mom)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Gershwin19
2. Lizzie11 (my very first SN!)
3. Obsession 934 (very popular with the boys!)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My creativity
2. My sense of humor
3. My hair

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My lack of self control
2. My stomach
3. My inexperience

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Cherokee
2. Welsh
3. English

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Pretty much any animal that starts with an S. Including, but not limited to, snakes, sharks and spiders. (This was Sara's answer, but I agree 100%)
2. Mediocrity
3. Failure

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Bottled water
2. PD the magical puppy
3. My laptop

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. 2 rings - 1 says "Love", the other says "Faith"
2. A shirt that doesn't fit at all.
3. A black bra.

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS:
1. Guns N Roses
2. Aerosmith
3. Maroon Five

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. A new romantic relationship
2. Taking more risks
3. Lose the weight, damnit.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (besides love):
1. Trust
2. Chemistry
3. Friendship

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
[mine are in no particular order]
1. I love Matchbox 20.
2. My dad once got arrested at the circus.
3. My brother is a flaming homo.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Hair
2. Eyes
3. Arms

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Get a job.
2. Understand the appeal of Napolean Dynamite.
3. Give up. (another one I stole from Sara)

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. Movies
2. Doggies
3. Road trips

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Sleep
2. Play blackjack.
3. Lose 50 pounds.

THREE CAREERS YOU ARE CONSIDERING:
1. Writer
2. Editor
3. Crack dealer

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Vegas
2. Vancouver
3. Australia

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Olivia
2. Brandon
3. Isabelle

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Get married, have kids, raise a family.
2. Own a dog.
3. Learn how to play guitar.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT
1. Dido - White Flag
2. Guns N Roses - Don't Cry
3. Maroon Five - She Will Be Loved