The theory of everything...or nothing.

November 19, 2005

As we all know, I am required to watch TV for a living. HA HA! But anyway, doing this job for the past 9 months or so, watching countless TV shows and movies from the past 3 decades, has really given me an interesting perspective on things. I'm working on a theory. I'm sure there have been others with this same theory, but it's just coming to my attention now and I want to share it. The only problem is...I'm not exactly sure what my theory is yet.

You see, it seems like everything is connected, or maybe nothing is connected and it's all chance, or maybe everything is exactly the same, connected by one thread in the universe. Yeah, okay, I realize that makes no sense. Let me give you some examples.

One example I can give you from today...I probably went the whole 9 months of working without coming across that which is Martha Washington, but both the Match Game and the Family Feud I did today mentioned her. Another example: last week, I heard the word "vivisection," a word I've never heard in my life until now, in 2 different shows! Pinky and the Brain and Huff! In one week!

Stuff like that happens all the time. My two biggest worlds collided the other day when I was watching Friends and Chandler mentioned Charles Nelson Reilly and the Match Game. Hello! Weirdness abounds, people, I'm telling you. One more example: I did a Huff with Angelica Houston in it. Later that day, I did Night of the Iguana, which was directed by John Houston, her dad! I was a little freaked out by that, honestly!

As we all know, I'm kind of on a search for spirtuality. I'm on a journey of some kind and I'm just not sure where it will all end up. There are things about Christianity that makes sense to me, and that's why I still go to church, even when it seems like I'm not getting anything out of it but a crush on a certain boy. But there are also things, like this theory I'm working on in my heard, that make sense to me that wouldn't exactly work out in the Christian world. Like...fate, karma, yin and yang, what goes around comes around, going with what the universe is trying to show you. There are many things I believe and they don't always collide with each other, which is why I'm so fucking confused about my place in this world.

But I think if I can figure out what the hell this theory is and if I can somehow figure out how God plays into it...I will have solved my own puzzle. And when I figure this all out, if I ever do...I will so write a book about it and I know people will want to read it.

It's really important to me to figure this all out because, well, I just want to. For the past 5 years my eyes have been open to the spiritual part of me, the part that cries out for something more, the part that wants to believe that we're more than just beings walking the earth until we die and lie in a coffin for the rest of eternity. I just don't know what that something more is yet. I will figure this out someday, but meanwhile, I'm still searching.

Well, that was deep. *burp*

In other news, today I had the interesting experience of picking up two never before seen relatives from England at the airport. Sasha and Andrew, a mother and son, and they are apparently my second and third cousins? Or something? Sasha is really quite awesome, and Andrew...well. Andrew is one month younger than me and just about as hot as someone can possibly be. I mean, classically hot, people, not my definition of hot. And the british accent? Adds about 15,000 kinds of hot. Holy shit.

But please, I understand the situation. Yes, he's only here for 2 weeks, yes he's the kind of hot that's way out of my league even if I had the kind of self esteem to not say something like that, and, oh yeah, he's RELATED TO ME in some kind of way. But he's also quite nice to look at and "chat" with. My fake aunt Ellie told me that I was being "looked over" by him while we were all sitting down at the table. I didn't happen to see that, but hey, rock on with that. It just makes my life a little tiny bit more interesting, you know?

Also, I did some overtime at work today and in the middle of Family Feud I was overcome with fatigue and just an overall feeling of yuck. I had to go take a little nap on one of the sofas in the office, which made me feel like a big dork, but I couldn't go home because I didn't have time! What was really cool was that a co-worker came to wake me up at 5 because she knew I had to get to the airport. I love my co-workers.

Oh, and speaking of work, I was looking at Craigs List and I saw a job listing for my company and well, my job. I mean, I know they aren't trying to replace me because there's already 10 of us, but it was just weird to see them advertising for the position. Anyway, here's what part of the ad says, just so you can see how fascinating my job is:

Using a computer workstation, a Caption Editor listens to audio components of video productions, transcribing directly from the audio to input text, proofreads, and sets timing parameters for caption display. A Caption Editor also prepares captions for program broadcast. The Caption Editor is responsible for researching all names and terms, using various sources, to ensure accurate presentation of captions.

Yeah, bitches. I use me a computer workstation! Wheee! I know you're jealous.

Tomorrow there is more church. I don't really feel like going, but I don't want any of the retreat people to think I'm not going just because I want to avoid Church Boy. So, if I can drag my ass out of bed, I will go. I have a reputation to uphold and everything.

I'm exhausted so sleep will be coming soon to a theater near you. Before I leave you dear people, I have to say...if you want to see true love in real time, go to the airport and watch as people come in from an international flight. When they greet the people waiting for them, that's some powerful stuff right there. I almost cried, like, 10 times tonight as I watched people hug and kiss and almost cry from total happiness that this person was back in their lives. It was all very touching. Of course, I'm having my period right now, so that might play into it a bit.

Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and good things and stuff.

*****

2
"There was just this one point, while we were secret shopping, where he saw this little baby crying and its mom was holding it and trying to get it to stop crying, and Matt was all like "Awwww!!!!" It was a different kind of Awww that I've heard from him before. It was a wistful Awww. It was a "I really want that" kind of awwww. And it broke my heart because I want him to have that, and I know he'll be an excellent father, and I feel like this whole process of being together is just lagging along because I haven't proven myself yet, and that's just bullshit! And it pisses me off, yet again it makes me sad because I know how badly he wants a family."