"He figured she'd gone back to Austin, she talked about it all the time..."

October 02, 2005

So I am very happy to report that I had a fantabulous weekend, and it didn't involve any kind of boy activity. It is very rare for me to say that, but it's true! Good weekend, yay!

I spent the night on Friday at my mommy's because I just needed to. I don't know for sure because I haven't talked to him since Monday, but I'm pretty sure Matt Two has hightailed his tall ass out of Texas by now. This was not making me happy on Friday. But I talked to my mommy about it, cried on her shoulder, and went to bed feeling a little better.

Saturday came along and I had the plan of hanging out all morning at Barnes and Noble, but that didn't happen because my mommy decided she needed to save herself a stray doggie. She saw this dog in the middle of the street and couldn't bear to let it wander around, so she got him in her car and well, that's that.

She had a horse-riding lesson to attend so she called me and I came to pick up the dog. This doggie is apparently still a puppy. He's really cute...I think he's a border collie because he looks like a black lab but has a white stripe on his chest. I picked him up and we tried to get to know each other on the way home. He apparently doesn't know whether or not he likes the front seat or the back seat.

I originally named him Burt, and then we collectively named him Henry Hill, but then my mom's husband decided he looked like a Scout, but now his permananent name is Tonto. I don't know. They're weird.

So that was fun. My mom seems to be completely in love with this doggie and I support her in her love. I didn't at first because he's kind of nutso, but he's just a little puppy and will acquire some manners at some point.

I have pictures, but I just can't seem to upload them at this time. I know you're dying with anticipation.

Anyway. I left my mom's house around 3 because I didn't want to be there when my stepdad came home and my mom had to go through the whole "Look what I found!" story. When I was driving back, planning on hanging out at the bookstore and then going home to do laundry because that's how exciting my life is at this point, good old Natalie, AKA Crazy Friend, called me and said, "Hey, want to go to Austin tonight?" And I'm all, "Yes. Yes I do." I don't know if she knew how bad I needed a completely random trip to Austin, but I did, so we went.

It was a pretty awesome trip. We left around 4:30 yesterday, got there at 8:30, went to the Gap, went to our hotel (Courtyard Marriot), had some mexican food at good old Maudie's, and then cruised the happenin' Austin hangouts, which of course included fabulous 6th Street. This morning we woke up at 10, had lunch at a lovely grill-type establishment, and I made it to my church group thing at 4:29, with 1 minute to spare before I had to be there. It was all very exciting.

Now, I haven't talked to Natalie since July and we haven't hung out in probably almost 6 months. I love having friends who know me well enough to not have to talk to me all the time, but know that I'm up for a completely random and spontaneous trip to Austin. That makes me feel really awesome. And to have Natalie with me, that just makes it better, because she was there when I was deep in my "Nothing Matters But Matt" stage in college, and now she can see me in my "Still Disturbed Yet Functioning In The Real World" stage, so that's very satisfying.

We had A LOT of time to talk and so we very much did. Yesterday's 3 hour journey to Austin was filled by talking mainly about how we've changed and what we've learned, and we really got hardcore into my relationship with Matt One, and she made me think about a lot of deep things that never even occured to me, and you know that's hardcore because when it comes to Matt I've pretty much beaten that relationship horse to death.

Today's discussion on our 3 hour journey home centered mainly on that which is Christianity. As we know, I am the small group leader for this thingie at church that I'm doing. Natalie is the most hardcore Christian I've pretty much every met. The thing about her...it's almost like Christianity is a punishment for her or something...it's very hard to explain, but my friend Natalie? Is really weird. But in a good way. In a way I definitely can get behind...I think.

Anyway, it was a really good time and it was great to bond with her again. And plus, I always love me some Austin. I was very proud of my navigational skills in my soulmate city. She drove her new 1986 Volvo and I led her in all the right directions. It's nice to know I learned something when I lived there.

So, a good weekend was had by all. I even enjoyed my church activities tonight. The whole Matt Two thing.. I am still a little bummed, but the raw sadness and pain is over with. I'm actually really optimistic about this week. This week will be about getting back on track with the weight loss, kicking the usual ass at work, and just doing what I need to do. Rock on, right?

It's just amazing how a road trip with a good girly friend can just totally change my mindset. I am now excited about this week and not dreading it and you know, happy thoughts like that. It's all good, baby.

We took sooo many pictures of our trip, but my camera situation won't let me upload them right now. I will as soon as I get a grip because there's some really funny pictures. Something I learned from all these pictures, other than the fact that I again look like I'm carrying around twin boys in my stomach, is that my hair has gotten wayyy too long. It's longer than it's ever been. But I've gotten to the point where I'm thinking a complete overhaul is necessary. Sometime in the next 2 weeks there will be lots of inches coming off my hair. Good times for all!

Also: OCTOBER! WOOHOO! YAY! OCTOBER! MY FAVORITE MONTH! WOOHOO! OCTOBER! YAY! Things happen in October, people. Last year nothing really significant happened so I thought the October chain was broken, but when I look back, that's not true. 'Cause I first developed my little crush on Church Boy in October and that's been significant in my life. And I also had an interview at a certain captioning company...I didn't get the job at the time, but I got the ball rolling, now didn't I?

I also have to mention, because it's in my contract on Diaryland, that tomorrow, the 3rd, would have been me and Matt One's 8 year anniversary. You know, if he hadn't dumped me for someone else and everything. That is forever what I will associate that date with, and that's okay, and I have no particular emotions about it at this time, but it something that crosses my mind. Good times.

In completely different news, registration for Nanowrimo has started, and I am quite excited about that. I already have a fabulous idea for a story and it has NOTHING to do with heavy metal or bands in general at all. I'm happy about that.

I would also like to mention that tomorrow is the one year anniversary of lasvegasliz. Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Before I shut up and go to bed, I want to thank everyone who signed the guestbook and finally got that "Axl" person's ramblings off my screen. Thank you so much for your support, I very much appreciate it.

Bed is good.

*****
1
"What I'm trying to say is that unlike Austin, which was my actual physical location, Las Vegas represents a mindset. It's a place that makes me happy and yet depresses the shit out of me at the same time, which is pretty much where I am at this moment. I'm happy because I escaped the person I used to be, but I'm still a little depressed because I'm not the person I want to be quite yet."

2
"I wish I could do something about it. I wish I could take care of him. But he's not asking me to. He's 200 miles away and there's really nothing I can do about it but watch him suffer, and I hate that. It makes me mad, almost. But.. what can I do? He doesn't want my help."

3
"I'm just feeling really blah right now. I bet you couldn't tell. I need to get out of here, but I'm not taking steps to get me out of here. BB said yesterday that I'm doing what I can not to fail, but I'm not trying to succeed. That, unfortunately, is totally true."

4
"Okay, yeah. We watched some hardcore porn in class today."