America's funniest home crap, I'm hungry, and Paula Abdul

May 07, 2005

Ohkay... that was a weird cameo appearance by Paula Abdul on SNL. But I digress.

I'm a little worried about this weird new addiction I have to America's Funniest Home Videos. There is a little marathon on Saturday nights, and that excites me. But I also have to watch SNL cuz Johnny Knoxville is hot. It's like when I was a teenager and had to switch between SNL and Headbanger's Ball all the time, except a lot less cool.

I saw Crash tonight. It was really an awesome movie. I don't think it's getting very good reviews, but I loved the shit out of it. It's one of those "everyone is connected but you don't quite know it until near the end" kind of movies, and it's really all about karma. I love movies like that. I highly recommend this movie.

I also got my eyebrows waxed tonight. It wasn't that bad at first because Sweet Child O Mine was on the radio. Ahh, Axl. Also, I saw a guy there with a mohawk and a DARE t-shirt. Oh, the irony.

So my mom and I went to check out my new apartment today, and I feel a lot better about it now. I'm actually really a lot excited about moving, and I wish I could do it sooner than at the end of the month. I'm really excited about having my own washer and dryer! Do you realize how exciting that is? DO YOU?

With the apartment comes a membership to a gym that only costs $10 a year. Yes, that's what I said, $10 a year. We went to check it out, and this gym is awesome. I mean.. I'm a gym whore, and I've been to quite a few of them. This one is pretty and sparkly and new and my gym boner was just going crraazzy. For some reason, it reminded me of the gym Miranda went to on Sex and the City. Yes, I relate my life to TV shows. You have a problem with that?

I can't wait to move. Seriously. I'm also really looking forward to getting into the whole online dating thing. That's not my prefered way of doing this, but I have to start meeting people and putting myself out there. I don't exactly think my soul mate is waiting for me on match.com, but.. it worked the first time, so maybe it's just time to try again.

I really think the next 6 months are going to be really, really important. It's sink or swim time once again. I can either use this time to really get it together, or I can sink back to my old familiar patterns of stagnant crapancy. And I don't want to do that.

So, yeah. I've kinda been thinking about what I want in a guy lately. I know that everybody does that, but I never really did because I was happy with the guy I had. But I now I'm starting to think about it, and that's good.

I want a guy that has long hair. I mean, that's not a requirement, but ever since Axl came into my life, that's just always what I've preferred. I want someone kinda like me, I guess.. someone who grew up in a mostly stable family but has a rebellious side. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who likes movies and staying in sometimes, but also has a life of his own that he can introduce me to, since I have no life.

And someone who is so passionate about me that not only will he come to where I live, but when he comes in he'll grab me and fuck me against the door. Or you know, something like that.

Also, someone who likes chicken. Gotta like the chicken.

In required Matt news, I spent a good amount of time last night at the farm reading my old diaries just to confirm that I always, always had doubts about wanting to be with him forever. I also wrote about 12 pages in my diary about what would happen if we did, in fact, ever get married. It was a pretty convincing and interesting list, and it really probably is good that it's never going to happen.

And while I know it probably isn't a good idea for us, and while I'm trying to be happy that he found someone that makes him happy, and while I'm glad I'm moving and doing productive things with my life.. I still miss him, and it still hurts to think about them together. But, it's all good. We haven't talked in 5 days and I haven't cried in 4 days!

In other news, I love my puppies. My Charlie slept with me again last night at the farm and he's just the best puppy ever.

Farm Guy made me laugh for about 15 minutes last night by saying something about a "cricket fart." It was stupid, but it still made me laugh.

Man, I'm hungry. But I haven't lost 9 pounds in a week and a half by not being hungry.

Also, I gave Ali-Kat all my porn 2 weeks ago and I haven't seen a naked lady since! I need some kind of sexual release, damnit! Fucking friends with benefits getting girlfriend assholes! WHAT DO I DO NOW?

Okay. That is all.

A quote from 3 years ago that I find to be interesting...
"I'm trying to plan our wedding right now, even though we aren't even engaged or anything. I mentioned Oct. 3, 2003 as a good date to get married, because that would be our 6 year anniversary! But.. oh no.. it's on a Friday, which means it would conflict with high school football, and no, we can't have that. Maybe we could get married on Labor Day because that's when we first met in person. Ahhh, online love."

That was about 5 months before we broke up. It's a little sad how I am just not good at getting out before I'm kicked out. I need to work on that.

*****

a year ago...
"I am proud to report the fact that I am #4 on Google for the search of "Goodbye you asshole." So, that's exciting."

2 years ago...
"If you don't hear from me for a while, look for some stalker activity down in the area of Malibu. That is where my stalking target, one Mr. W. Axl Rose aka William Bailey lives. And that is where I am going."