My hands are rebeling, a miracle drug, and innapropriate crushes that are just getting more intense

November 02, 2005

Hi!

Stuff:

Nano. I'm at the piddly number of 2,606 words and it could be going better. But I've done 8 hours of overtime in the past 2 days, and when I get home and attempt to type, my hands are all, "Hello, you've been working us for 12 hours and NOW you want us to bang out a story for you? Are you fucking kidding?"

I'm sorry, hands. I gotta do what I gotta do, you dig? But the story itself is okay. I don't exactly have a big outline for it or anything, so I'm just really reaching for stuff at this point, so early in the story. I'll get it done, let's not be silly, but it might just take all 30 days. I'm a career woman now, what can I say? This is the first time, in my 3 years of doing Nano, that I've had a respectable job. Job comes first! Words come later.

I'm not putting my novel online this year just because I might want to publish it at some point and that is not conducive to doing so. Just know that it is tentatively titled "Crash Into Me" and so far, car accidents and pie have been prominently featured.

In other news, I love Meridia. I know I've sung the praises of this miracle drug before, but damn! I don't know quite how to explain how I feel different when I take it, but it's like...I'm still thinking about food, but the pill is helping me make the better choice. When I'm not taking Meridia, it's all about Freebirds and Taco Cabana and whatever else I can stick in my mouth. With Meridia, it's actually making normal and healthy food choices, like celery and turkey sandwiches and apples. Meridia rocks your ass off. It's like...magic! I swear!

And here's where I talk about boys because I'm incapable of not talking about boys: my work crush on M is getting way too intense for my liking. What, me have a crazy intense crush on somebody? How out of character for me!

But like...he's really kind of mysterious and a little shy, but he's also funny and intelligent and witty in a very spontaneous way. I actually have no idea what's going to come out of his mouth next. I like that about him. I want to get to know him better, but if I do, it'll probably ruin the mystery and that's the most exciting part about it right now. Does he like me? Does he like flirting with me, 'cause oh yeah, there's some flirtin'. Does he fucking have a girlfriend or not? WHAT IS GOING ON?! I need to know these things. But also, I don't need to know these things.

Alrighty then. That is all.
In sum:
- Nano is going kinda okay, but my hands don't like typing more than 12 hours a day.
- I like M, I don't know what the hell is going on inside M's head.
- Meridia rocks your ass off.

I'm tired.

*****

3
"And then I was thinking about the prospect of dating in Austin. Whoever gets me first is going to love all the baggage I bring along. "Oh yeah, I've just been in a 5 year relationship where from day 1, he said he wasn't going to committ, but I stayed anyway. Also, he was a virgin, and I haven't had sex in 5 years. HEHEHE!" Yeah, that's going to go over really well.

I mean, he hasn't even broken up with me officially. If he would just say something like, "I want to see other people, I want to break up, I don't want to be in this relationship anymore, I don't love you anymore..." soemthing like that, then at least I can be allowed to mourn the damn thing. But instead he's just keeping me at arm's length, and that's just really annoying. "