He's just not that into, Part 2

July 10, 2005

Blah. It bothers me how craptastic I feel today, just because Eric the Poet Hand Holder didn't contact me at all yesterday.

It's the same way I felt when I was 15 and obsessing over why Ryan never called me again. Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Is he just not atrracted to me? The thing is, if I did say something wrong or whatever the hell the reason is, that shouldn't have been enough for him to lose complete interest. What about the Vibe, the connection, the intellectual bond we seem to share? What about the rapport and the shared interests and the sense of humor? Is that just not enough?

Bah, whatever. If it's mean to be, blah blah blah. I hate this part of the whole dating process, and I hate feeling inadequate because he didn't call me the next day. But even Mike called the day after our first date! Geebus.

I'm also a little ashamed as to how hard I've fallen for him. Some fucking amazing poetry, fingertips stroking my arm during a movie, a dragon tattoo, an earring, the massage therapist thing, sparkly blue eyes, and a Vibe is all it took for me to fall as far as I could for someone I barely know and have some reservations about anyway. I will learn someday, I will, but for now.. damn.

I mean, I know he was working yesterday and probably doing lots of other important things, but how hard is it to just call and say he had a good time? I hate that, I really do. Was I wrong again, really? Fuck.

I will see him again on Wednesday in class. Meanwhile, I'll go re-read "He's Just Not That Into You" and try not to be sad about something I never really had to begin with.

Here's more pictures and such from my vacation:

When I was in Utah last year, I felt all spooky in my room at the house. But my mom rearranged stuff and it was more comfy and now I can dig it. Here's my room for you to look at:

Here's a mountain near my mom's house:

Here's my new all time most favorite picture of myself, because I am so terribly vain:

Me and my mommy at Fish Lake:

Hey, braids!

A pretty picture of Fish Lake:

Richfield certainly does take its fourth of July activities seriously. They even put their chairs out on the parade route days beforehand so they can get a good spot. It's really an interesting sight to see all these empty chairs on the street.

At the parade, there was one family with little puppies that I guess they were trying to sell. This puppy that I'm holding really didn't like me. He liked my mom...gave her a big kiss. But not me!

This is a llama...his name was Rama. He wasn't in the parade, but his mom was leading him around on a leash. Yeah...I don't really know why either.

Another vanity picture of me at Fish Lake:

Yeah. Good times.

So ever since I read Lost Boy by Orson Scott Card, I've had some kind of unusual fascination with mormons. So my mom and stepdad and I went to a mormon church service last week and it was...interesting. Well, distracting, really.

The thing that stood out to me was the numerous amount of children. All over the damn place. I guess they don't believe in having a nursery because they want their kids with them during the service to enrich their whole mormon experience. So you have all these crying and chatty kids all over the place, and it's virtually impossible to pay attention to anything else. It was not fun, and I think I will stick to my methodist church with the nursery.

I'm still interested in the mormon religion, but I will be looking into without visiting their church (or ward as they call it).

Good times, and stuff.

*****

4 years ago...
"I'm getting annoyed with my boyfriend. He's wanting to spend lots of time with me. That's not exactly a bad thing, but I kinda like to hang out by myself. On Thursday, I had planned to do other stuff, look for a job mostly and then hang out with my friend, but he wants me to go watch him Bowl! Wow, sign me up for that, please."