Hit by a truck: a first date thesis

January 15, 2005

Oh man.. I'm in trouble now.

All I want to know right now is.. when do I get to see him again and when do I fucking get to make out with him?

We had the generic date of going to Chili's and then going to see a movie. We saw White Noise, and it had both of us jumping up and down in our seats like lunatics. Also? Our legs were touching the whole time. Our shoulders were touching the whole time. My arm went numb for a while and like.. I couldn't feel it, but I sooo didn't care.

Afterwards, he came to my apartment and we watched Office Space and gave each other back rubs. Yes! Back rubs! Seriously!

I just.. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. He opens the car door for me, for fuck's sake! Before we even went out tonight, we talked on the phone last night for almost an hour and a half, and he makes me laugh like a crazy woman.

I know it's pointless to compare him to Matt, and really, I haven't been. But Matt? First of all, he hates chicken! It was such a relief when Mike ordered a chicken sandwich at dinner. Finally, a boy with normal eating habits! And the most important thing.. Matt made me cry the first time we hung out. Mike did not. He only made me superdeliciously psychotically horny.

Where did this boy come from? Where the FUCK has he been all my life? It's even more exciting because I know he really digs me.

It's just.. fucking amazing. Fucking. Amazing. For so long, I had given up on ever feeling something for anyone other than Matt, and when I allow myself to think it could actually happen, it does, and wow, I want more of it. I want that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach, the wonder if he's going to just fucking kiss me or not, the complete attraction I have for him.. just.. wow. I don't want to fuck this up. He's a good guy. And.. like.. wow.

I'm so nervous that even saying this, even admitting that I had a totally amazing time and I can't fucking wait to see him again.. I feel like I'm almost jinxing it. But I know he likes me, and I know he's attracted to me, and I just want this to work, and I want to see him again right now, and OH MY GOD! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!

I will probably see him at some point this week because as long as we have tenants at work, we have deposits. I will be looking forward to that day this week.

I will shut up now, but geez louise.. I did NOT see this coming. It's.. nice. And I have completely overused the ellipsis in this entry, so that's enough from me.

Wow.