I'm my DVR's bitch, plus God.

September 13, 2005

You know, I do love my DVR and everything (it pauses live TV! LIKE MAGIC!) but I feel like it's starting to be the boss of me. When I feel like coming home and maybe watching a DVD or maybe, like, reading the bible or something, I look at the list of stuff I have yet to watch on my DVR (Prison Break, Reunion, a bunch of Friends, every episode of Tommy Lee Goes to College) and I feel like I must sit down and watch or else I'm going to miss out on something. Plus, if I want to record more things, I have to delete some stuff so it doesn't get full!

You aren't the boss of me, DVR! Let me LIVE MY LIFE!

Now, on another subject, I know you all look at me and think, "Wow, Liz, I sure wish you were my small group leader in a religious capacity. You're such a good faithful Christian that I really want to learn about God from you!" Well, fear not, friends, because now I am a small group leader for this program that's currently going on at my church. And I'm terrified. Because I have NO IDEA what I'm talking about.

The point of the program is to ask questions, really, and as a small group leader I'm not expected to have the answers to everything. But it would be good if I at least knew the Bible a little, if I could at least hold a religious conversation without feeling like a fraud. I wanted to do this last year when the subject first came up because I feel like I need to take this spirtual thing up a notch instead of just standing idly by and going with the flow all the time. I mean, for a while here I've been going to church solely because Church Boy is there every Sunday and he's pretty.

But I know I need to do this, I know people are counting on me and I know I need to step out of my comfort zone. One of my goals this year was to take risks, and this is a big giant risk for me. I'm actually trying to take steps to bring myself closer to God! Wow, I'm so proud.

Our first real meeting is this Sunday night and I'm really quite nervous about it. I'm leading all the young adults and there's, like, 15 of them. I'm going to have to prepare myself in a big way so that I at least have some background and knowledge of what I'm talking about. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? Oh yes.

I am writing this at work. Probably not the best idea ever, but my computer at home doesn't work so, yeah. I should probably return to my Match Game at some point in the near future. Yesterday I did a whole Amazing Race in 8 hours. I know that means nothing to you, but believe me, people are impressed. I am campaigning for a raise by the end of the year, people. Oh yes, it will happen.

Anyway, in requisite boy news, whatever. My feelings for Matt Two have grown from total heartbreaking sadness to a lovely form of complete apathy. He hasn't contacted me in any way since last Monday, and I guess I get the hint. I'm not thinking about him as much anymore, not checking my email every 12 seconds anymore, not crying at the thought of never seeing him anymore. Of course, if he did want to see me I'm sure I'd break every traffic law in the state trying to vault myself over to him, but he seems to pretty much have his mind made up to blow me off entirely. Oh well, it was certainly good while it lasted.

It also helps that I have a little mini-crush on someone else. All I have to say about that is: Church Boy Two. I know this crush exists because new crushes help me forget about the old crushes, but he's also cute and really quite strange. On Friday night, my sunday school class is having a little get together at someone's house, and both Church Boy One and Two will be there. I'm not sure which one I'm going to try to work, but there will be some flirting going on, I promise you. I'm such a whore.

I think that maybe I should get back to work now. Just one more question, though. Whenever I hear the song "Listen to Your Heart," it's in my head for like, weeks. But can anyone tell me what the hell she's talking about in that song? The line that confuses me is when she says, "Listen to YOUR heart before you tell HIM good-bye." Who is YOUR and who is HIM? Who is she singing this friggin song to? WHAT AM I MISSING?

Okay then. Also, I love this weather we're having lately. Also, it's weird that it's now pitch black when I go to work in the morning. I love feeling like I'm going to work at 3 AM. Also, your mom.