Things I've learned this year, Matt Two, and cowards.

August 03, 2005

So, tonight was my last writing class. Woop.

I was right when I said this class was going to be the greatest class ever. I accomplished the 3 things I wanted to accomplish when I first signed up for it:
a. Kick my ass into writing more stuff;
b. Meet cute boys;
c. Get validation that I'm still a good writer.

I got all 3 of those things. Some of them didn't work out as well as others, but at least I had the experience.

Eric didn't show up again tonight. I could buy last week's excuse of going to the dentist, but what does he have to say for himself now? I'm not just trying to be dramatic when I say I think he's a huge coward prick. I don't care if he didn't come because we hurt his feelings when we critiqued his story 2 weeks ago. I mean, it was a pointless, and he wrote this graphic sex scene that seemed to me was in there just to shock us. I don't care if he didn't come because he was trying to avoid me. Whatever. He's a coward, and I'm so glad we only went on one date, because I don't want to have anything to do with someone who gives up so fucking easy.

I was really sad when he didn't show up tonight, although I knew in my heart he wasn't going to. He deprived me of writing class closure!

But if there's one thing I learned this year, it's that closure isn't something you can just convince yourself you have. It's a myth. You can't just wake up one day and be over something. You can be like Angela Chase and think you're over it, but then you see a videotape with Rayanne and Jordan having sex in the back of a car, and then you realize you'll never be over it. It's just something that comes to you over time. Closure, in theory, is a great thing, but it just doesn't happen as easily as I would like.

Anyway. I know that all of your eyes will just straight up roll out of your head when I say the next couple of sentences, but I'm going to say it anyway.

There's a boy. I talked a little bit about him last time. I'm going to call him Matt Two for now, because I don't want people who haven't read me for a while to come back and say, "MY GOD! She's still with that asshole?!"

NO! I'm not. It's a different Matt entirely, okay? Let's just get that straight before we go on.

We've been exchanging novel-length emails for the past couple of days, and well, I'm fucking smitten again. And I haven't even met the guy.

Something else I've learned this year (it's been a busy year, you see) is that it's really quite easy to connect with someone new. It's easy to find things in common and bond because of that. But it's just, you know, THE REST that's the hard part. I had an awesome first date with Mike, and we all know how that went up in flames. I had a pretty nifty first date with Eric, and he hasn't contacted me ever since.

So I guess what I'm learning is that it's easy have something in common with someone and believe that there's a future ahead of you, but it's harder to actually emotionally connect and want to take it to the next level.

This guy, Matt Two...wow. We have so many things in common, and not just music or talk radio or movies or TV shows (although he seems to have a little obsession going with CSI, too, which excites me), but the important things, like what we want out of a relationship, what we're looking for, what we like to do, what kind of dates we'd like to go on, believing in fate and karma, how touchy-feely we both are. He's a cuddler, I can tell. I hope that we can meet soon so we can take it to the next level. That would be nice.

Internet dating...you gotta love it.

In other news, I've reached a new level at work. Instead of having everything I do be reviewed, I review it myself and then send it out. That makes me happy. That makes me really feel like I have some awesome job security and that they're gonna keep me around for a while. The new girl that I've been bonding with? Not so lucky. She quit. I don't blame her...she was learning, but I could tell it wasn't something that came easy to her. I'm kinda bummed out about that, but more power to her.

It's important to know that my cable guy didn't come on Monday. I have to now wait until next Tuesday. Fuckers. But they took $20 off my bill, so I can't really complain about that.

That is all, move along, nothing to see here.