What Charles Nelson Reilly means to me.

May 23, 2005

Okay, so I've given up on trying to understand my subconscious a long, long time ago. So when I had one long continuous dream about Charles Nelson Reilly last night, I was like, "Okay, brain. Sure. Whatever you say."

Have any of YOU ever dreamt of Charles Nelson Reilly? Do any of you even know who Charles Nelson Reilly is? I didn't know until I started captioning Match Game after Match Game on a daily basis.

The thing is, when I have those kinds of lengthy dreams about someone, it usually means I have a crush on them or something like that. But not only is this man like, 90 years old now, but he's also one of the most flamiest homosexuals that ever flamed homosexually.

So, I was kinda thinking about that as I went through my work day today, and I figured it out when I was working with one of my supervisors. He was sitting really close to me and teaching me something about how to do a Family Matters properly and kinda getting up in my business, and then I had a revelation - of course! I am attracted to this guy! The dream makes sense now!

And why does the dream make sense? Because I'm about 90% sure that this guy, too, is not of heterosexual descent.

So, there you have it. I had to have a dream about a guy who was on a celebrity panel on a 70's game show in order to realize I have a crush on one of my homosexual bosses. Hey, that's fun! Let's be sure to do that more often.

Obviously there is nothing to be done about this "crush" except hope that it's just a temporary thing that I get over in like, a few hours. He is pretty much my boss, and, oh yeah, gay. So, the odds really aren't in my favor, eh?

That was a really long story that probably would have been easier to tell in like, one paragraph, but you know me.

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In other news, it's reached that time of year where us Texans wrack our brain and try to figure out why we put ourselves through this awful torture every.single.year. It was about 99 degrees on Saturday and Sunday, and no, that wasn't a "dry heat." It was the kind of heat where you feel like you're sticking your head in the oven every time you step outside.

I mean, we don't have to live here! We could all go to Alaska or like, Montana or something! But no, we insist on staying in a perpetual stage of sweat. Mmm, tasty.

I am really looking forward to wearing shorts at a soon date. My legs aren't quite ready to be revealed, but about a month or so more of my crazy intense workouts, and we'll be good with the shorts, oh yeah.

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Speaking of working out, that it is going well. In 2 weeks, I've only skipped 2 days. I love to sweat, and I love the feeling of accomplishment when I'm done.

However, predictably, the eating is not going quite so well. It's nowhere near as bad as it used to be, but it's not where it's supposed to be, either. It's like if I go 2 days without eating some kind of pizza, I might just die. The pizza situation is just not pretty.

My excuse is partially that it's really hard to fix something to eat at home when I'm trying to pack everything in the kitchen up for my impending move. But.. that's stupid, so I'll shut up now.

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I would like someone to feel about me the way Tom Cruise apparently feels about Katie Holmes. I want someone to go on Oprah and not be able to sit still and/or contain himself in any kind of way.

Is that too much to ask?

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I am nowhere near ready to move on Friday. I still have so much shit to pack up, and I kinda wish I could hire someone to do it for me.

Also, my roommate is never ever here anymore. She still has shit to pack, and I wonder what void she seems to be existing in. I miss her. I miss the routines we used to have before her boyfriend turned into Amazing Boy of Wonder.

I'm glad that I'm going to be living alone, but this was a really awesome experience for me. I'm not particularly going to miss this apartment as a whole, but I will miss the situation.

*sigh* or something.

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I would probably have no interest in seeing The Longest Yard if they didn't keep playing "Paradise City" in all the commercials. Now I feel compelled to see it.

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In a couple of days, it will have been a month since the whole Matt ordeal started. That is so weird to me for some reason. I can't really comprehend that it's been 3 weeks since the last time we talked. I mean.. it's not as hard as I thought it was going to be. It's really not that hard at all, to tell you the truth.

I do miss him, and I do kinda miss our daily chats about nothing, but it was good that we don't engage in that kind of thing anymore. It was just prolonging the inevitable, and now that the inevitable has finally happened.. obviously it's a relief. But.. yeah. I still wonder if he ever thinks about me. That will remain a mystery for now, and that's okay with me.

Also, for anyone who was wondering.. I did manage to not use any kind of communication device to contact him on his birthday. I'm kinda proud of that.

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That is all. My broken bed is awaiting me, even though it will take me forever to go to sleep because it's hot and I took a long nap after work today.

Good times.

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a year ago...
"I really wish I wasn't 24 years old. So many people have accomplished so many things by age 24, and I don't have crap."

2 years...
"I want someone who will cook me dinner after work. Someone who will take me to cool places on some nights, and others will stay home and watch Pulp Fiction and play Monopoly with me, and after that, have wild and passionate crazy sex. Is that too much to ask?"

3 years...
"BB just called something a cluster fuck, and despite myself, that makes me a bit nostalgic. When I was crushing hardcore on Angel Boy when I was 15, he used to describe everything as a cluster fuck. Awww, boys and their cluster fucks."