Contact your local bank person.

January 11, 2005

Okay, so apparently people who work at banks ARE NOT allowed to give you their phone numbers, but they will anyway when the boss is looking the other way.

I know this might not be a big deal for most people in the world, but I actually got a cute boy's phone number, unsolicited, at his place of business! And then I gave him my number! And guess what? The boy has ALREADY text messaged me! Is this what happens to normal people everyday?

We were doing our banking business as we normally do and then when we were done, he just kinda gets out a piece of paper and writes his number on it. I tear a piece off and write my number. He says, "I didn't really mean to do that, but.." and then his boss comes around about something and I haul ass out of there to call my mom and scream anxiously about what a feat I just accomplished.

So. Yes. I WILL be having babies with someone, and that someone is Mike, my bank boyfriend. Bite me, Church Boy!

Okay then.

In other, reality based news, I had a "job interview" this morning. It was with the same place that strung me along for a month last year with the captioning thing, and then so easily broke my heart by giving the job to someone else. This is for a different position, but what's good about this one is that I didn't even call them, they called me to see if I was interested in the position. I guess it's because they knew how much I wanted the other one and thought I would be a good candidate for this one.

Like last time, today wasn't a real interview, it was just a test for the position. If I pass it (and of course I did), I'll get a second interview. But how long this process will take place is unknown, and I don't have warm feelings about it. Oh well.. it's nice to be noticed anyway.

It's also important to note that mere hours after I wrote the entry yesterday, Matt messaged me and we talked for a while. Everything is like.. normal. He still wants and desires me and nothing has changed at all for him, and that's weird, because things are changing for me and at some point I'm going to have to let him know that, and it's really not going to be pretty at all. It's not that it'll really change either one of our lives all that drastically.. it's just that he has no idea that I don't really have the same feelings I used to have. And yeah.. that's partially my fault for not communicating that fact to him. But it's also partially his fault for not thinking that it's possible for me to change.

Right?

Okay then.

As a sidenote, I'm really glad I started this diary. It's nice to have a place where I haven't been obsessing over every single detail of what Matt says or doesn't say.

That is all. If all goes right in the universe, I might have a date for this weekend! Hah!

*****

2 years..
"I hate this. I thought I'd never have to be out there again. But I am. So I might as well shut up about it."

and..
"It hasn't done shit. I'm just in a different place, far from the person that I love more than myself, 200 miles from the person I would do anything for, 3 hours from the person that I would do anything to kiss again, to touch again, to have the promise of a future with again."