Axl and stuff.

October 23, 2005

I don't really have anything important and/or interesting to say, but that has really never stopped me before, so here I am! Muahahah!

Today I would like to talk a little about Guns N Roses.

I feel like some people think my love for Axl is just a gimmick. And really, it's not. I mean, it kinda works as a gimmick, I must admit. I have a picture of Axl in my cubicle at work. He's on my wallpaper on my computer. It's like...my thing, you know?

I think it also makes a big impression on people when they are no longer a part of my life. I know for a fact that when people from my past (okay, mostly the Matts) hear a little GN'R on the radio or wherever it happens to be playing, they think of me. And I like that. I get a little something out of that, I gotta say.

I have 3 posters on my wall in my apartment. I have 4 GN'R t-shirts. I even still have dreams about Axl! I dreamt about him last night, as a matter of fact. It's just...comfortable to have my favorite band be something I've been listening to since I was 11 years old and not even out of elementary school yet.

And like I said, I get the idea that some people think it's just a gimmick, that I couldn't possibly still like them after all these years. And that's just not true! Sure, I don't have the total obsession and passion I once did, but I still listen and I still hope one day Axl will rise above it all and release something else and...yeah. I still regard being in the same room as Axl Rose as being one of my top 5 moments of all time.

And out of the 593 songs I have on my iPod, 130 of them are GN'R songs. I still listen. I still sing along. I still get excited when I hear "Don't Cry." It's still there. It's a passion. I don't see this ever dying...maybe it'll slow down, maybe someday it'll get to the point where I just don't care anymore, but I really don't believe that will happen any time soon. I'm a fan, dude. And if you happen to think that's a gimmick, I will do everything I can to prove you wrong.

And not only am I a fan, but Axl and GN'R in general just mean something to me. They represent something. I get something out of listening to a little GN'R. It makes me happy, it makes me comfortable, it makes me feel like there are some things in this world that I have control of. It means more to me than that, but not even I can always put that into words and you know me, I love me some words.

Alrighty then.

In other news, I saw Elizabethtown yesterday. Pretty much, if Garden State and Jerry Maguire had sex, Elizabethtown would be its baby. I did like it, though. I liked it a lot, actually. It took about 30-45 minutes to really grow on me, though. I have not lost faith in Cameron Crowe yet, although Vanilla Sky almost lost me. But come on! Singles! Say Anything! Almost Famous! Jerry Maguire! The man is a genius.

I went to church this morning and again...there's Church Boy to contend with. I started liking him around this time last year, at the retreat we went to on Halloween weekend. Here's a quote from a few days later...
"Anyway... I went to church tonight, and I think it's safe to say that I have a New Crush. Oh man, I really like this boy. He's 24, he has this really nice little body going on, he's a nice christian boy, he really pays attention when you talk to him, and.. I need to do something about this one. I really have no excuse not to! My roommate suggested I invite him over for dinner or something. I don't know! Haven't!dated!since!I!was!17!

My one big obstacle is the fact that he already knows about Matt because I've talked about him in our small groups before I actually knew that this guy (guess what we're gonna call him! Say it with me now.. Church Boy!) was 24 and single. So I think he thinks that I'm attached. Which I am, somewhat, a little. But man.. screw Matt. I want me some Church Boy. And I have to somehow get this fact across to him."

The problem is, I did get that fact across to him and it didn't work out. So now every single time I see him at church the same thing goes through my head..."I wish I didn't like him so much...I should do something about it...but I already did something about it! Should I do something about it again? But then I'll be The Girl Who Doesn't Get it!" Yeah, it's as fun as it sounds.

And then I start thinking maybe I should get another church or Sunday School or something! But it took me sooo long to find this church, and I've made some pretty good friends, and I'm a member now, and I'm a small group leader, so I'm really kinda ingrained whether I like it or not. I just wish this thing for Church Boy would either go away or like...do something.

There's a Sunday School retreat in 3 weeks and that should be verry interesting, pretty much just because I have a whole weekend to reignite whatever it was that seemed to be between us last year. I am looking forward to that.

Anyway, blah blah. I have to go to church now for a fun meeting about the first retreat I have, which is next weekend. I'm not looking forward to it, to tell you the truth, but I obviously have to go so...whatever.

I look hot today. It helps that I'm wearing a brand new pair of black Converses. I haven't owned a pair since I was a teenager, but they called out to me yesterday at the mall and I had to obey. Mmm, Converses.

I will be back tomorrow with another explosive entry because it's the 24th, otherwise known as "3 years since Matt One dumped me" day. Not that I care, really, but I feel the need to get a little contemplative on your ass. Sooo, rock on with that.