My dad met Axl Rose and all I got was NOTHING!

February 12, 2006

Mother Nature loves me this week. Not only am I sick, sicker than I've been in a long time, but I'm also having lovely fun cramps at the same time. Although I was down to my last 2 birth control pills and kinda freaking out because my period wasn't here yet, so I am glad that it's here and I will not be giving birth to any red-headed babies with tattoos any time soon. But still, fuck you, cramps.

I'm so sick that I even missed work on Friday. I've been there a whole year (Tuesday was my one year anniversary!) and never have I called in, even to take a mental health holiday. I felt bad just doing that even though it was for a legitimate reason. We're just being slammed right now and I know they rely on me to do a certain amount of work, which I can't do when I'm not there. So today, instead of going home from the farm (I got to sleep with Charlie! Yay!) and going home and sleeping for the rest of my life, I sucked it up and did some overtime. Yeah. I'm hardcore.

So I emailed my dad last Monday to ask if he saw Axl at the Wynn during the weekend. I didn't actually expect him to like, have a conversation with the guy. But he did. My dad...met Axl Rose.

Now, I'm not exactly sure of the exchange but here's what I am pretty sure happened: my dad, as he does, was playing Blackjack at the Wynn in the wee hours of the morning. He sees this dude with a big red goatee come over and talk to the guy sitting next to him playing Blackjack, right? I'm not sure if my dad actually talked to him or not when this exchange took place, but when Axl left, my dad asked the guy sitting next to him who that was, and he said, "Oh, that was Axl Rose."

Now, come on! Did it not occur to my father, once that name was uttered, to do SOMETHING? To like...tell the guy that his daughter fucking loves Axl Rose and has since she was practically a baby? Or maybe at least TRY to catch up with Axl and get a damn autograph or something? No. Nothing. My dad talked to Axl Rose and I didn't even get a lousy t-shirt.

I am kinda bummed about that. I expected more from my dad. All he had to say was that Axl "was not pretty." Well, I don't really need that particular editorial comment, but thank you anyway.

Anyway, in Josh news...we've had a rough couple of days. But in my mind, in my weird boy-driven mind, I still feel like, if we can figure out how to not make each other crazy, then we can probably be together for a long time, maybe, just maybe, forever. I know I've had my doubts about that, but maybe we can get it together. Maybe. And I would like that.

Matt once described his relationship with Lori, the chick he dumped me for after 5 years, as having two things: really low lows and really high highs, and that's it. And I didn't understand because with us, it was nothing like that. It was comfortable, it was used, it was easy. First of all, I realize that that's not exactly the reasons to stay in a relationship. But more importantly, I never understood why he'd want to be in a relationship with low lows when he could be in one that was always stable.

I understand now. Because when it's good, it's so fucking awesome. We're smiling and we giggle and we play around and we have fantastic sex and it's great. But when we have the lows, man...sometimes I just feel like hurling my car, with me in it, across a bridge.

But tonight we talked for an hour and a half about what we can do to change that. And I hope we can, and I think that maybe we can. Because, really? Sometimes I'm feeling exactly the same way I did when I was 17, and that is NOT a good way to feel. But things HAVE changed since then. I've had enough experience to know that I am capable of ending this relationship if it's not good for me. I know I'll have to make a decision at some point...either sack up and really make some kind of real comittment, like moving in together or something, or just break up.

I do realize it's not supposed to be this hard. But god, just the things about him that I love so much...his eyes, his lips, his arms, our chemistry, his words, his love for me, his passion for me, the way he loves to cook for me, how we are in bed, how we are out of bed, his sleepy voice, his love for his dogs...whatever, I just love him. I might be beating a dead horse, I really might just be doing that, but I'd like to think that we can make it work.

But we all know that. And I will shut up now.

I probably could keep talking but it is in my best interest to just fucking go to sleep right now, so that's what I am going to do. Rock on with your bad selves. Oh, and thanks to those of you who pointed out the oh-so-matureness of Matt's girlfriend's fun obsession with butterflies and Winnie the Pooh. It actually kinda makes me happy that she likes Winnie the Pooh. I hope he enjoys a lifetime of Pooh mania.

Anyway, yeah, shut up, Liz.