Austin, Matt Two, Ryan, Derailed, In Her Shoes, and penises.

December 04, 2005

Ah, Austin. Oh, how I do love me some Austin.

Last night with my girls was prety cool, but obviously I do feel a lot of detachment from them since I've been gone almost 2 years and yet they are still all together. Which makes me sad, but at least they still welcome me back and make me feel like a part of the group. My girls rock and I got a little emotional this morning when I was saying goodbye to Cristy. I was all, "I'm so glad to see you guys, and I really don't know what I would have done without you when I lived here!"

I love how my Austin girls are so much more hardcore than my Dallas girls. We spent a great deal of time last night talking about penises. If you even dare mention that horrid awful word in front of my Dallas friends, well, you just don't even want to know what wrath might come upon you.

Today has been quite uneventful, and I'm kinda okay with that. I could have made plans with Joey or my brother or what have you, but instead I saw Derailed, checked into my small but comfy hotel room, took a nap, and then saw In Her Shoes. Derailed sucked beyond belief and I almost walked out a few times, but what can I say...I have a huge girl crush on Jennifer Aniston. I do question her choices in movies, though. In Her Shoes was just total greatness and I knew it would be because Jennifer Weiner wrote the book and she's my favorite. I was pretty much sobbing by the end of it. Shirley Maclane has never been my favorite, but she rocked this movie's ass.

I could have done a lot of things today, but just being in Austin makes me content and contemplative and that's fine with me. Well, it's not totally fine and I wish I were more social and had people take me out and get me really drunk or something, but that kind of thing has never really appealed to me. I am a social person, I love my friends, but I also treasure my alone time. Like we didn't already know that already.

The myspace fun continues, of course. My main excitement for the day was being added as a "friend" on Tamie Down's page. He's the singer for Faster Pussycat! Wow, am I just the coolest or what? It's Taime! I used to love me some Taime.

Flirty Local Radio Personality was fun to talk to for a while, but he got on my nerves because all he wanted to do was flirt. I had to stop replying to his emails and I was sad about that because, hey, he's on the radio! That means he's extra cool! But not so much.

In other news, there's a battle going on in my head about whether I should be sad about Matt Two or happy about Ryan. Right now, Ryan is winning and that is good.

As far as Matt Two goes, I really feel that I will probably never hear from him again. I say there's about a 100% chance of that. And I believe that's a good thing. I would have flown to Arizona to see that boy for New Years, I really would have. It would help if he would have actually lived there, but you know, maybe that's asking too much or something.

He really did intend to go to Arizona but the night before he left he decided not to go. He failed to communicate this one little tiny detail to me because he "didn't want to feel like a failure." I don't know. It hurt mostly because out of all the guys I've known this year, he was the one that I thought was least likely to do something like that. I wonder why my judgement of guys sucks so much. I wonder why I want to believe that everyone is good until they prove me wrong in the most horrible way possible. Is it time for me to become completely cynical?

But...there's always Ryan. My mom help me put some perspective on that particular situation and I feel good about it now. Sometimes there's people in our lives that don't go away, and they weave in and out, helping out with the story. Ryan and I keep crossing each other's paths, and there is a mutual attraction there that I dig. But just because we have that attraction doesn't mean we'll end up together. I know for a fact we won't end up together, but I do kinda dig the fact that we've been in each other's lives for so long.

Oh, dear. Boys. They are a problem for me, and I need professional help.

Rock on!

*****

1
"Dude, seriously? I know my job situation is of fascination to you, and I understand and appreciate it. But BELIEVE me, if anything in my situation changes, that will, by all means, be the first thing I tell you when I talk to you."

2
"I can almost compare Austin to the relationship I had with Ryan. We had a flirtation for a while. We had staring contests, and Austin put its knee on my butt when we were sitting in History class together."

3
"I hate this, though. I really do. We used to be best friends. We used to share our lives with each other. And now I haven't even seen him in a month. But that's okay. I'm okay. People move on. And when I go to Austin, that will be a huge step in moving on.

4
"I've said in past entries that sometimes I feel like maybe I should get over this Axl thing, or that maybe my obsession is coming to an end. Then I look at Axl pictures all day and come to the conclusion that no, I shouldn't get over it, and no, it's not coming to an end.

My god, look at him! He's just entirely too good looking to not be obsessed with."