To summarize: whatever

November 09, 2006

I think that maybe Josh broke up with me today. So I did what any self-respecting girl does when that happens:
- I had a complete meltdown at my endocrinologist's office.
- After learning I have gained 22 pounds since August of last year, I bought a monster burrito at Freebirds with chips and queso and a Dr. Pepper and went home.
- I watched my favorite episode of My So Called Life.
- I also packed my books and DVDs for my impending move.

I don't know if this is a permananent thing or not. He thinks I've been acting weird lately. I think he's been Mr. Anger Hulkamania 3000 lately. I don't know what else to say yet. It's still all...dumb and stupid and obnoxious and everything else that maybe pseudo-breakups are. Whatever. That's really what I have to say at this point: Whatever.

The doctor wasn't that bad. He's known me forfreakinever so I didn't really mind having my little meltdown right there in his office. He gave me a new prescription for Meridia which I obviously need. I'm 2 pounds away from being back to my heaviest weight ever. I won't share that number with you, but trust me: it's horrifying. I'm not blind, I can see how big I am right now. But to see those numbers on the scale? Whooo boy.

I don't know. This is not the greatest time of my life. I haven't been "happy" for a while now but I'm not really sure why. I don't know about my relationship or lack of it at the moment, and I don't know why I have such a lack of respect for my body. My doctor decided not to take my blood today because the levels of everything would be totally out of control.

I just need to get all my pills, buy healthy food, and stop stressing out over things I can't control. That would be lovely.

So, in summation: Whatever.