Power ballads, Meatloaf, and snot.

December 10, 2004

This is the most unorganized entry ever! Enjoy it, damnit!

Okay, so apparently there's a "Power Ballads" station on Yahoo Launch Cast, and for merely $4.00 a month, you can listen to all the power ballads your little heart desires. So now I'm rocking along to "18 and Life" by Skid Row and being happy happy joy joy. Oh, how I love me some Sebastian Bach.

I mean, seriously! We all know that my heart belongs to Axl, but Sebastian is still one of the sexiest men I've ever seen in my whole entire life!

Oooh! To Be With You, by Mr. Big. I can dig it.

ANYWAY!

CSI last night made me sad. Not the actual episode itself, but the fact that I'm totally over my CSI addiction/obsession circa Summer 2004. They made the show all weird by breaking up the team and inserting this Sophie chick who is making my Sara/Gil dreams sink to the bottom of the ocean. Well, I guess it was fun while it lasted.

*sigh*

Next Thursday I'm not going to be able to watch because my churchy small group is meeting to watch Christmas movies and eat pizza. I cannot tell you how much it excites me to think about watching movies with Church Boy. He'll be there. We will sit next to each other and laugh out loud together. We will share meaningful glances and when the night is over, he'll casually say, "So hey, what are you doing on SaturdaY?" And I'll slyly say, "Having dinner with you, of course!"

Or uh.. something like that. I also have my new small group Christmas party on Wednesday, so I'm going to be all weirdly social next week. I like being social.

I'm totally full of snot today. Snot is not fun.

OOhOH! More than Words!

I don't want to jinx myself, but yesterday I had one of the best job interviews ever. We even went on a 10 minute tangent about our dogs after he read my doggie commentary from when I wrote for the school newspaper. We talked about current events. I broke out the "I've written THREE novels" line, and he was really impressed with that and wanted to know all about them.

I always seem to have better luck with male interviewers, just because females are always threatened by other females. It's true, dude! It's like they're afraid that since I have a vagina like them, I'm going to try to steal their job or something. But this guy was awesome. Supposedly I'll find out today if I get a second interview. The job actually sounds quite terrifying, and I'd probably have to spend more than half the day on the phone, which puts a lot of fear in my heart. But.. it's all good. If I can get a new job by the end of the year, I might just have a spontaneous orgasm from joy.

OH Man! "Two out of Three Aint Bad" by Meatloaf! I know that no matter how old I am or where I am in life, this song is always going to stab me right in the chest. I still remember the first time I heard it, it was on me and Matt's 1 year anniversary, we had just seen What Dreams May Come. I heard this song, and I was like.. that is me and Matt. I mean, of course he loved me, but he never fully comitted himself to me, never in the 7 years we've been trying to get it together. For shits and giggles, I'll post the lyrics at the bottom of this entry. Gahhhh.. I'm going to stick my car key in my left eyeball now.

Last night my roommate and her boyfriend sat down together and did their christmas cards. They had a picture of them as a couple in the front of the card. If that's not the cutest thing I've ever seen, I just don't know what is. It also made me throw up a little in my mouth, but I think I'm doing an okay job with the insane and raging jealousy.

Oooh! Sister Christian!

Anyway, if I didn't like my roommate so much, I'd probably hate her, with her salary being double what mine is while being 3 years younger with no college degree and her perfect boyfriend and her perfect christmas cards. But I'm not bitter! Really!

So tonight I'm meeting Natalie at Borders and we're going to talk about fun churchy things and other stuff. As soon as humanly possible I'm going to see Ocean's Twelve.. hopefully we get to leave early today. Tomorrow will be a day of fighting insane crowds for Christmas shopping purposes, and a bit of a shopping spree at Lane Bryant. I have been informed that not only will Farm Guy be at my dad's party on Sunday, but Client Guy might make an appearance as well. The thought of 2 of my boyfriends in one house makes me a little wiggly. Also, there's a short story contest that I'm going to try to write something for this weekend. I figure it's about time I take this writing thing seriously. Yeah man.

Okay then. This probably has been long enough and I will shut the hell up now.

Other songs that played on the Power Ballad station that got me all excited in the past 30 minutes:
-Love Hurts, Nazerth
-House of Pain, Faster Pussycat (I LOVE me some Faster Pussycat!)
-Wanted Dead or Alive, Bon Jobi

*****

a year ago...
"The simple fact is that I have loved him through every single period of our relationship. I loved him when he loved someone else. I loved him when he had nothing. I loved him when he had everything. I loved him through everything, and I feel like I deserve something for that. I deserve more of him. I deserve more than "sex and companionship."

2 years..
"If I really force myself to look at it, I know it probably wasn't the best thing for me anyway. You never loved me the way I was capable of loving you. You could never committ to me, it was too much for you. We have different ways of loving, and we just weren't compatible. I should have realized this before, and not 5 years after I threw myself into a relationship that was never going to work."

3 years...
"I really have a craving for Sonic right now. A BLT and some mozzerella sticks. MMM, BLT."

Lyrics, Two out of Three Ain't Bad by Meatloaf:

歌词:TWO OUT OF THREE AIN'T BAD
Meat Loaf

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't gettin us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There's nothing left inside of here
And maybe you can cry all night
But that'll never change the way I feel
The snow is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn't make me leave here
I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long
I'm crying icicles instead of tears
And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you, I need you
But-there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you're looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks
But there ain't no Coup de Ville hiding at the bottom
of a Cracker Jack box
I can't lie, I can't tell you something I'm not
No matter how I try
I'll never be able to give you something
Something that I just haven't got
There's only one girl I'll ever love
And that was so many years ago
And though I know I'll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back
Ooh I know
I remember how she left me on a stormy night
She kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away
And she kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
I want you, I need you
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
I want you, I need you
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad
Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere