Stuff, and resolutions

January 02, 2007

Because I am awesome, I am watching Gleaming the Cube while writing this awesome entry. It's very likely you're jealous of me, watching this very 80's movie starring Christian Slater as a skateboarder, but that's okay, we'll move on now.

So, after considering my MP3 player options, I have gone with the obvious and most expensive choice:

There she is, my pretty black iPod I named Cookie II. I don't know why I named the first one Cookie, but there it is.

Anyway, thanks to you and your smartness, I decided not to go with the Zune. Because I have way too much purchased music from iTunes to buy something that doesn't support it at all. So, good times all around.

This is my last day of vacation and tomorrow I have to go back to the world of work. *Sigh* It really was a lovely break from the real world. I was just about as lazy as anyone has ever been. I ate, I slept, I mastered the art of traveling alone...I did it all!

I also managed to work out this evening. I figured, since it's been nearly 3 months since I've been in a gym, that would be a good thing. I went to my apartment's gym and wasn't so impressed so I guess it's back to good old 24 Hour Fitness. They're open 24 hours!

Anyway. I've been thinking about something, as it is the new year and everything. Over the last year, I have accumulated a lot of, well, stuff. Like all the stuff I had last year at this time is mostly all different stuff. Like, this laptop is new, I bought it in September. I bought a new TV with money I won in the lottery. My mom bought me a new pretty sofa for my birthday, which I am currently sitting on. I have this new apartment which, even after a month I'm not totally moved into. I'm getting a new bookcase in a few days to put more stuff I've accumulated in it. I have a new Kate Spade purse that my mom got for me for Christmas and a new Kate Spade (I'm obsessed with the woman, I don't know why) wallet that I bought for myself on Ebay. I replaced my old cell phone with a much prettier version. This one has speakerphone!

I'm not saying all this to brag, exactly. I'm saying this because so what? None of these things have exactly improved my life. My pretty iPod cost me $300 today! My apartment is nicer and stuff, but it's more expensive and not close to my job. My purse and wallet are awesome but they do the same job all my other purses and wallets do.

The point is...my goal, my new years resolution, if you will, is to try to perhaps stop accumlating so much stuff and perhaps try accumulating experiences instead. My goal is to stop being so fucking lazy, to lose weight, to put myself in a position to earn the things that I want and not have them come to me just because I can afford them.

In truth, I do need to find a new job sometime soon, probably. I do need to buy a house. I need more friends, I need a lot of stuff that would bring peace of mind. But the only way I can do that is to...say it with me now...lose the weight. I won't have confidence to get a new job or a new house or new friends if I keep looking the way I do.

Like, I got a haircut about a month ago. I really like the color I got with it, but the cut is...ehhh. She cut too much, and now it's too short in my opinion, and I have discoloration about my lips that looks like hair but OMG it's not, it just appeared there one day, the doctor says it hormones, and OMG it won't go away and I seriously look like I have a fucking mustache 24 hours a day. It's annoying! It's not pretty! And I am not happy AT ALL with the way I look right now.

And all that stuff I have? Makes absolutely no difference when I am going through a period of such strong self-loathing. It's not fun. I will get over it someday, but right now it's not fun.

Hopefully tomorrow I can start a nice healthy work routine, where instead of taking the elevator ONE FLOOR, I can use the stairs instead. I can drink lots of water instead of constant trips to the vending machine. And if I have a problem doing these things, just visualizing how awesome I'll feel in 2007 when I've accomplished my number one goal, and can finally start focusing on the stuff that really and truly matters, like having a life and everything that comes with it.

I'm not saying I'm not going to focus on my job or not try to make friends this year, but my number one priority is losing weight. Because I can't stand not to anymore. It's just something that has to happen.

I have the dishwasher and the washer going on at the same time and those two things have very irritating noises that are about to make me go fucking insane.

Also, I had an...experience on Sunday night. It had to do with brownies. I lose almost 24 hours of my life because of those brownies, and let's just say that me and brownies aren't the best of friends. But it also did a good job in making me terribly impressed with my boyfriend and how awesome he can be in, uh, scary situations. *insert mushy boyfriend kisses*

That is all.