Am I lazy? And a candle!

January 07, 2007

So I just sat here on my sofa and played Stack 'Em and watched all 2 hours of Beauty and the Geek. I've never watched that show, but for some reason I enjoyed it immensely and will make it a part of my normal DVR routine.

Did you know that Reba comes on 4 times a day now? I can't help but record almost all 4 of those episodes, too. I'm not sure where this addiction came from but damnit, I love me some Reba. Oh, and in one episode I watched, Cheyenne had her baby and then out of nowhere, the lights dimmed and Reba sang a lullaby in her awesome Reba voice. I cried like a baby, it was disgusting.

I mean, I think I can count this day as productive. I did some laundry, went grocery shopping, worked out totally hardcore, vacuumed, took the trash out, watched Legally Blond...that counts as productive, right? I just feel like such a lazy asshole lately but I don't know what else to do if I worked out and everything.

I guess I should really start working on my novel. I mean, I wrote it all Nanowrimo-ized and it kinda sucks, but it also has some merit. It's a real story, nothing like the novels I've written before about girls in rock bands and all that crap. I think this one has a chance. I think this one is going to be The One. So...I gotta work. The first thing I HAVE to do is figure out how my grandfather really died. My grandmother apparently lied to everyone about it, so I want to figure out what really happened there. And from there, I think I can do some good work.

Anyway. Last week really sucked, I have to say. From New Years Eve on, it just wasn't good, although it did improve each day of the week. But Wednesday, I went back to work for the first time in a week and a half, and I was just not feeling it. At all. I mean, that's normal right? I ALWAYS feel like...mildly suicidal when I have to go back to work after a vacation, like, "This is what I have to look forward to?" Not to mention there's workplace drama going on in regards to a possible promotion. The way it is now, odds are I'd probably have to move the 3:30 to 12 shift if I want the promotion, and I really have no interest in that. It just doesn't appeal to me at all, honestly. So...we'll see how that works out for us all.

Also on Wednesday, when I was barely 5 minutes from the office after work, I got rear-ended. I don't know how that's going to work out yet, but both insurance companies have been contacted and they are taking it seriously. There was hardly any damage and nobody was hurt and, the best part is, it wasn't my fault. In actuality, I haven't been in an accident that's my fault in a long time! But the sad thing is, I can't even count how many accidents I've been in now. It's probably pretty damn close to 10 at this point. Yeah, I suck.

But this week will be better, I am fairly confident of that. I will be working out, first of all. Today I worked out hardcore, so much so that my arms were doing that whole shaky post-workout thing. I forgot how good that makes me feel, and I will be doing that more often. One good thing about this last week, I started my precious Meridia again. And again, I am astonished how well it works. I do see some problems with it, though. Like, I get to a point during the day when I'm at work where I know I need to eat because it's that time of the day, but I'm not really hungry. And then it gets to be 1:30 or 2, and I'm leaving at 3:30 so why eat anything until then? But then I'm all hungry and things just go downhill from there. But not so downhill that I jeopordized the whole reason why I'm taking it in the first place.

If that makes sense.

So, I'm optimistic. About work...I don't know. It may be in my best interest to start looking for another job, but I don't know about that yet. I'll give it a few months and meanwhile try to stop complaining about it constantly to anyone who will listen and take some fucking responsibility for my actions and what I want to accomplish in my life. Rock on.

Things with Josh are pretty awesome right now. We haven't had a big fight in a while...we're on a roll! I am in love with him and his puppies and everyone's all excited about life in general. I think I sleep better in his bed than mine. But that might be because I take a couple Advil or Tylenol PMs at his house 'cause he doesn't come to bed until a few hours later. And such.

Other than that...
Here's the awesome candle I bought at Urban Outfitters that is currently sitting on my table, lit and smelling all nice...

Yeah! I'm tired.