Consumerism vs. health - my dillema!

September 29, 2006

So the dates for the Guns N Roses North American tour have been announced, and...

Hey, Axl, ever heard of Texas? Or, like, Oklahoma or Louisiana or Arkansas for that matter? Where's your Southwestern pride, huh?! Tickets go on sale on Saturday, and right now I just can't afford to take a couple of days off and go to California or fuckin' Maryland or whatever. Come on, Axl! You ran out on your last tour before you got to Dallas, you at least gotta make it up to us!

In other news...I've said this over and over again, but next week I am seriously going to step away from the overtime. The good thing is that I'm making money and helping the company. The bad thing is I'm eating too much because I'm here all the time, I don't get out and walk around much, I haven't gone to the gym in about 3 weeks and also, I think I'm starting to get a really unhealthy consumerism addiction. Like, give me stuff. Give me all the stuff you can possibly give me.

When I won some money on a scratch-off lottery ticket a few months ago, I bought a fancy new TV. My mom just bought me a fancy new sofa that I might be too scared to sit on. On Monday I bought a new laptop and didn't even blink when I saw the price, well over $500. I buy stuff, I put a few bucks in savings, and I seem to have lost ANY humility I EVER might have had because I have money, so why not spend it? My mom has money, why not spend that, too?

I have to reprioritize here because things are getting scary. I have money yet I probably weigh more than I have in years. It's not a huge weight gain, nothing I can't take off at the gym in a couple of weeks, but there is a connection between wanting to own everything I see and also wanting to put every kind of food I see into my mouth. It's scaring me. I don't feel healthy at all. My mom is worried because my triglycerides are scary high, and that's the stuff that floats around your heart...or something like that. I'm going to see my dad on Sunday and I KNOW he's going to say something and make me just want to eat even more.

I've got to get a hold of myself, get my shit together, and I don't see why it's so hard. I CAN make a salad in the morning and bring it to work and have it for lunch. Even if I do overtime, I can bring my workout clothes and then at least do like, 30 minutes on the bike or something when I manage to drag myself to the gym. Oh, it's just ridiculous right now and I'm really getting tired of myself and my excuses.

But also, by the end of October, I will have A LOT of money, like, seriously. And that's because of all the work I've been doing. And also because hopefully I'll get some money for my birthday. I just need to reel it in, stop being so consumer fanatic-y, and realize what's really important. Which is, of course, my health and sanity.

That's really all I care to say at the moment. Next week will be different. It has to be.

Also, I want to be like Shirley Maclaine when I grow up.