A big crap bag.

December 06, 2004

Today:

* My shirt smells like mildew.

* My co-worker is terrifying me by making me do actual property management work. I don't do that. I answer the phone and pretend that I'm a receptionist. I don't call people and ask them if they can inspect one of our properties to find out where the sewage smell is coming from. Yark.

* I Went to the bank but didn't see my bank boyfriend, unfortunately.

* I will have to pause this entry to put postage on 200 Christmas cards.

* I spilled sour cream all over the place.

* I am busy.

* I want to go home.

Yesterday:

* I went to my Austin church and had a gay old time

* Speaking of gay, I hung out with my Gay Movie Boyfriend, Joey:

We ate mexican food and then went to see a high school production of Grease. It was funny and I liked the music, but the end seriously disappointed me. I mean, really? Sandy gets all slutted out and then everyone loves her and everything works out? That's the moral we're trying to send out to the universe? Grawr.

* Went to see my brother's new real estate office and was sufficiently impressed. He just started this new business in the summer and he's really rocking the real estate thing. Here's a bad picture of him at his new desk:

* Drove back to Dallas, where I alternated listening to the audio tape of Forrest Gump and wanting to tear my eyeballs out from all the weird traffic that was going on. Really? Traffic? On Sunday night at 7:30? Please stop.

* Came home to a really happy PD the puppy, plus a brand new Christmas tree:

I dig having a roomate. When I lived by myself, there was never a Christmas tree waiting for me when I got home.

Saturday:
* I drove 3 hours to Austin, listening to my favorite Saturday morning radio show. When I couldn't listen to that anymore, I searched around for random songs. These are the songs that I turned the radio all the way up and screamed along to:
- 18 and Life, Skid Row
- Wherever I May Roam, Metallica
- Luka, Suzanne Vega
- Hurt, Nine Inch Nails
- What It Takes, Aerosmith
- Today, Smashing Pumpkins

Yeah.

Here's a picture of me driving!

* Got to Austin and hung out with Dylan and participated in his most favorite game, throwing the tennis ball.

The thing about Dylan is that he's the best snuggler EVER. My puppy man, Charlie... he's a good boy. He'll follow me around and give me kisses and stuff, but with Dylan, you can just lie there all wrapped up in golden retreiver-ness, and everything is right in the world. I dig that about him.

* I had an hour or two before I was meeting with the girls, so I watched this special on VH1 about Velvet Revolver. It was totally fascinating. Seriously. I think I might be in love with Slash, in a very hardcore way. I even asked for a guitar for Christmas, all because Slash rocks my world like that. I also love me some Duff, even if he does look about 60 years old. I dislike Matt Sorum. I'm still deciding about Scott.

I really dig how big Velvet Revolver has gotten. They could have failed big time, but instead, they rock. Yeah man.

* I met my girls at the mall. Now.. I love them soso much, and I don't know what I would have done without them when I lived in Austin, but man alive! I DO NOT suggest EVER going shopping with 8 other girls. Between all of us, it was virtually impossible to make a fucking decision. I mean, it's hard for us to make a decision together in the first place ("What do you want to eat?" "I dunno, what do you want?" "Maybe Mexican? Or you know, what do you want?"), but put us all in charge of buying stuff for people in need at the church.. wow. Take cover.

* We then all went to Trudy's, a lovely Austin mexican food establishment. We waited an hour and a half for a table. Yes. Seriously. I then had quesadillas and a strawberry margarita, which made me just a little bit tipsy. We had some good conversations about boys and jobs and such.

But.. yeah. I've almost been gone from Austin for a whole year now. And everyone has been going about their lives since I've been gone, and doing all this cool stuff, and bonding and stuff.. and I just didn't really feel like I was fitting in properly anymore. It totally wasn't their fault, because they rule. But it just seemed like since I'm not an Austin girl anymore, I don't really fit in.

And THEN I wondered.. is there a statute of limitations on how long I get to claim these girls as friends? We don't really talk much unless there's an event coming up. How much longer can I tag along with them on stuff? They still regard me as part of the group, sorta.. I don't know. It made me feel all awkward at times. The next event is Sarah's wedding, which is in March. So we'll see how that goes.

* I went back to my brother's house and we watched Bob and Rose, this british show about a gay dude and a straight chick who apparently fall in love.

* Went to sleep on a fun air mattress.

Friday:

* I worked.

* I went to my mom's and we watched Serendipity (again) while I did laundry.

Urm, yeah. So that's pretty much it.

Other things of importance:

* I couldn't help but notice all the weird things the universe was sending out to me to notice. Like, Trudy's.. that's where I sat, eating chips and salsa and feeling totally retarded about myself almost 2 years ago when Scott and his friends came to Austin.

There was a lot of other stuff, but you get the jist. I guess Austin will always be about change and moving on and stuff like that, so I should get over all the weird and subtle things that remind me of that. Well, it makes sense to me, anyway.

* If you were on the road last night at any point between Austin and Dallas between the hours of 7:15 and 11:00, I hate you. You suck.

* My girls and I decided the problem with Austin is that it's just too fucking crowded. Some people need to go to San Antonio (You don't mind, do you?) or Houston or some other place. Maybe we can build an Austin: Part Two somewhere. Everything is just so overcrowded, every single place you go. Don't EVEN get me started on the traffic.

Anyway.

* I still have not heard from Church Boy. While this is troubling, I accept the fact that I need to have patience and that I will probably have to work on this situation. I will have to let him know in subtle ways that I dig him, and that I am worth getting to know in special ways. I am okay with that.

* For a bonus, here's a picture my brother has on his wall that he absolutely refuses to believe looks like a penis. Dude! It's such a penis.

* A pretty picture of Dylan:

*It took me forfuckingever to write this entry. Sorry about it sucking ASS.

* Two years ago I wrote one of my best and most amazing entries ever. Check it out if you wanna.

*****

a year ago..
"If we were all honest with ourselves, the sexual part of our relationship might be one of the biggest reasons we've been holding on. So it'll be interesting to see if we can make it more than that once I get back."

2 years...
"And where am I now? I'm missing him so much I can barely keep the tears away. I'm having pointless conversations with him that consist of me almost begging him to see me. I'm going to my mom's house to sleep because I'm actually losing sleep over here. I lose sleep because when I wake up in the middle of the night, I get up and check my email and obsess over how he hasn't sent me any emails or anything."

3 years ago..
"I have let yall in, I have shown you what a prick my boyfriend can be, I made you all feel sorry for me, feel bad for me, but that may have been a mistake. A mistake that I regret.

We just talked for two hours on AIM. I don't know. I just didn't want to let it go like this. I didn't want to remember him as the prick that he can be. I have more faith in us than that."

*****

Here's some quizzes.

Your Icecream Flavour is... Cookies 'n Cream!

Smooth and creamy with a few rough bits mixed in, you are a real treat! You are probably very popular amongst your friends. Remember too much of a good thing is not always good! Don't lay it on too thick!

Which Sin Are You?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
You are...	Lust
This fun quiz by chibigarm - Taken 197179 Times.

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