My brain exploded! Look!

October 20, 2004

Man alive! I hate feeling like such a loser for switching diaries! Ever since I moved over here from there I have NOT been feeling the love. I ask you guys for good vibes, where are they?! WHERE ARE MY FUCKING VIBES, DAMNIT!

Anyway. I just thought I'd give you a little bit of an interview update, although it doesn't appear that anyone actually gives a big crunchy shit. (I'm such a drama queen, aren't I? I apologize.)

It wasn't actually a formal interview. There was about 6 other people sitting at 2 tables (including a red headed midget, but that's neither here nor there) and all we did was take 2 tests. The first one was spelling, grammer and punctuation. The second was taking a sentence of maybe 10 or 12 words and putting it into a specified number of words, making it shorter yet still having it make sense. Right? Right.

I feel that this whole test thing is in my favor. Since they haven't met me and haven't experienced the true Chub Face Social Retard factor and instead are just grading a test on stuff that I mastered a long time ago.. that is good. However, there are 14 or so other people that I am competing with. This makes me nervous, but I am confident as well. I mean, it's just time. It's time to get a job and move on with my life, and I really feel good about this one. If I don't get it I will be:

a. surprised
b. devastated
c. pissed.

Although there was a few words that I might have messed up. I STILL don't know if I spelled "disappointing" right. That looks right, right there, but I might have put 2 S's in there. I hope I didn't. I also had a real issue with the word "bribery." That looks right, right? I kept looking at it and thinking "bribary", but that's not right. Also.. "burglary" or "burglery". But that's pretty much the only trouble I had. I am good with the eye for details, people. I am good with the grammar, the spelling, the punctuation. People are always asking me how to spell stuff. I really feel good about these tests, but you know.. it's just a crap shoot. Fucking crap shoots!

I will supposedly know after 2:00 on Friday. So after 2:00 on Friday expect a really happy and joyful entry or a really sad and defeated entry. I kinda wish I could travel in time 48 hours to see what kind of entry I wrote. But yeah, I don't have a time machine.

After the interview, the 5 other interviewees and I got in the elevator, which was only going down 1 floor. In this 3 or 4 seconds we were on the elevator, I tried to think of how I could knock these people off without killing myself in the process, but hark, I didn't have enough time to ponder that idea.

And then these people all stood around and talked to each other before finally leaving! I surely did not partake in this witty banter portion of the experience.. these people are my ENEMIES! Why would I want to fraternize with these assholes when I'm competing against them for this job that I really, really really REALLY want!

And I do really really really want it. We took a tour and man, it just looks like the coolest job I can possibly think about! Basically we sit there and watch TV all day and type what they're saying. Captioning, if you will. I can do that. And they have really flexible hours and excellent benefits and more money (MUCH more) than I'm getting paid now.

Maybe I want it too much. As we all know, when I want things too much, there is a pretty decent chance that it won't EVER happen.

Do you know that there's actual humans out there who are PRAYING for me to get this job? That's like.. nice and stuff.

After the interview, I went home and took a 2 hour nap. I like to do that on Wednesday afternoons after work. I don't know why. Then I woke up and watched Friends and the West Wing, which I barely paid any attention to at all. Then I watched a couple of episodes of CSI. I bought season 4 last week and I'm not even halfway through it yet! Where has my obsession gone if I can't even watch half a season in a week?!

*****

The diet? Not going so well. Let's not talk about it.

*****

I love MP3's. I really and truly do. I know it's not exactly legal and everything, but MP3's make me happy. Right now I am listening to "Quicksand Jesus" by Skid Row, a song that maybe 99% of you have never heard and probably wouldn't want to.

Other songs I've downloaded in the past couple of days:

Nine Inch Nails - Hurt (not nearly as depressing as the Johnny Cash version)
Aerosmith - What it Takes (let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go)
Van Halen - Can't Stop Loving You (one of me and Ryan's songs!)
Van Halen - Why can't this be love? (Right, right)
REM - End of the world as we know it (LEONARD! BERNSTEIN!)
Madonna - You'll See (best break up song ever!)
Ted Nugent - Stranglehold (he likes to hunt, I hear)

Anyway.

I just listened to Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do, I Do It For You".. it's so funny, but that song STILL reminds me of when I was all Christian Slater obsessed when I was 11 years old. That song was on the Robin Hood: Prince of Theives soundtrack, and I would listen to it over and over and over. Nice to know that song has staying power.. it still reminds me of something I obsessed over 14 years ago.

(Oh my god oh my god I was 11 14 years ago I'm so old so very old)

But that's the best part of music, right? Weird memories? Like how "Love Bites" by Def Leppard will ALWAYS remind me of Ryan, how I got through the first break up with Matt by listening to "Little Past Little Rock" by Lee Ann Womack, how I was with two boys that cried at the Live concert when they played "Turn My Head".. yeah. That rocks.

Currently playing: Tiny Dancer, Elton John.

*****

I don't know what the hell is making me so chatty at 11:30 at night when I have to go to bed in like.. 5 minutes. But here it is. Deal with it.

Work today was a little odd in that Work Guy was being all silly-like. I kept incessantly talking about The Interview and before I left, he was all, "Awww, our little girl is growing up!" And I was all, "So am I the daughter you never had or what?" And he was all, "Yes, I always wanted a daughter." It was a nice touching moment, although I guess that I have to shelve the dirty dreams about him now. Ewwww. Gross.

It's hard being such a pervy mcperveson.

I have worked there for more than 8 months now. It was originally supposed to be for 3 months, but.. it wasn't. I really need this job.. if everything works out, I won't have to move with them to Mesquite. I really don't like our new office.. there's too many walls and we can't all sit around and bullshit all day if we're all seperated from each other.

Anyway.

Now playing: Tom's Diner, Suzanne Vega

*****

I love me some Hot Topic. I bought a Guns N Roses watch there! How cool is that! I also bought some outrageous purple nailpolish and another Guns N Roses sticker that I promptly stuck on my laptop. I wish I was 14 so I could really take advantage of the clothes there, but hark. It's me and Lane Bryant these days.

Now playing (appropriately enough): My Immortal, Evanescence

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Have any of you ever felt compelled to read someone's whole entire diary, from first to last entry? I have done that on several occasions, as you well know. Right now I am addicted to this. I've read merely half of it, and I love it, and it gives me something to do at work when I've run out of internet. I would suggest doing this when you're bored.. it's a fun way to get to know someone else's perspective on life in general.

Rawk.

Now playing: Send me an Angel, Scorpions (I meant to download "Send me an Angel" by Real Life, which is another song that takes me back to a specific time in life, but the Scorpions are cool too.)

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Dear Karma,
Remember that $20 I gave that homeless guy once? Remember all the cars that I have let in in the past 8 years that I've been driving? Remember all the volunteering? Remember being nice to cuddly puppies and grandmothers and that blind person I helped find her next class when she was all confused in college? I want to redeem all my karma points in the form of this job. Is that cool with you?

Thanks Karma. I knew you'd understand.

*****

I am done being the chattiest asshole ever now.

I'm hungry.