More sex than usual!

August 17, 2005

I feel I must share this from a year ago today:

"Driving home from work this afternoon, I realized that August 17th, 1997, was the last time I offically had sex."

My, how things have changed.

You know, I was looking over the past couple of years of entries on this date, and man, I seem to be more horny than usual around this time every single year. What is up with that?! Is it the full moon or what? It's all very strange.

Anyway, I should obviously be looking into going to sleep right now, but I just got back from working out and I'm all jumpy and such. I'm trying to work out more these days as part of the whole "Someone realistically might be seeing me naked a lot in the near future" diet. I need to eat more grapes on this diet.

I don't know if you've noticed this about me lately, but for the past couple of weeks I've been walking around all, "Lalala, head in the clouds, lalalala!" Well, I think I'm back to reality now and that's a good thing. I got so caught up in the whirlwind that is me and Matt that I forgot that taking it slow and not jumping into anything is really the best way to go about things.

I really like and respect the fact that he brought me back to reality when we talked (well, emailed) about "where the relationship is going." But he did it in a way that I would understand and not get my feelings hurt. I needed that. And, okay, yeah, it burst my little bubble of happy-cloud, but that really needed to be burst anyway. Being happy is one thing, but being oblivious to the real world because you're so happy is another.

Things are going well with all things at the moment. Matt and I are in Week 3 of exchanging many lonnnggg emails during the course of our work day. His emails actually make me work harder, in case you were wondering. I make myself caption a certain number of minutes before I allow myself to read his email, and then I'll read it, and I'll go back and do more captioning while I think of a clever response. This has become a really lovely pattern. I don't know how long it'll last, but it's just really nice that we haven't run out of things to talk about yet.

Something I'm learning about him is that when something goes wrong, he's not one to want to sit there and talk about it and dissect every single detail like I have been known to do. He wants to think about it in his own time. And if there's a problem he doesn't think he can get past, he'll just end things with almost no warning. That makes me nervous. That makes me feel like I have to be on my toes at all times.

But really, I don't think that's a bad thing. With Matt, I was never on my toes. I was fine with the status quo and never challenged anything because that's just how it was. I never protected myself against the fact that the relationship might end someday, and I was royally screwed and unprepared for when it did. So, if I am always uneasy and not quite sure if I'm doing the right thing, that might actually be a good thing for everyone.

Does that make any sense?

I haven't seen him since Sunday and it's making me all itchy. We do have tentative plans for him to come to the farm on Saturday, which should be interesting because then he'll have to meet my dad. He really has no idea what he's in for. He has no clue about The Dog Situation and I'm sure it will freak him the hell out. The greeting that me and Charlie have when I come to the farm has to be seen to be believed...it's like we haven't seen each other for years and we have to reconnect or something bad might happen. I love my little doggie. I hope he likes Matt and doesn't try to maim him like he has been known to do with people he doesn't approve of.

I wish I had something more interesting to talk about, but I really just don't. There's been a lot of rain lately. I'm doing a lot of The Amazing Race at work. I so, so love my new DVR. I can pause live TV!

I hope all of you are doing fabulously and getting enough sleep. Oooh, sleep! Good idea.

*****
(notice a pattern?)
1
"Most people I've talked to about this over the years have all thought that it's just not normal to not have sex, especially when it's not for religous or moral reasons, and especially when "everything but" is okay. I'm starting to agree with them, man. I think I need to get laid. And soon."

2
"But the time has come that I need to put this porn thing behind me."

3
"So, I think our subconsciouses realize that we are male and female, and that we shouldn't even talk or interact in any other way until we get it on. It's like we aren't functioning properly unless we get it on first, and then everything goes back to normal."

4
"Okay.. a little too much information here.. but, on the way back, I tried giving BB a hand job. While I was driving."