Not a good day.

April 27, 2006

Today was not my greatest day on the planet. For example:

a. My grandmother died. Now, we've all known this was going to happen for weeks and it was more of a blessing than anything. She was in pain, yet she was still hanging on, but there was no way she could get better because she refused to go to the hospital. So, it was expected.

But...I got there before my mom had even called 911, so we had to go through the whole thing...the damn fire department had to come and make sure she was really dead and all that crap. The ambulance came but didn't take her anywhere. Her room smelled disgusting because as her caretaker loudly announced to my mom, "She's lost control of everything!" I had to watch the mortuary people take her out of her bed and put her on a stretcher to take her away.

She was the first dead person I've ever seen. It's just...it rattles a person, you know? I wasn't quite prepared for that. It's just this crazy mixture of emotions, of happy and sad and frustrated and everything.

b. Josh and I had an unsettling argument. We went through the full range of emotions on that one, too. It was fucking exhausting. But I think we're okay now. I think we can handle being basic civil humans now.

I do love him. I love him a lot. I see him in my future. But when we fight, it's nasty. We both go for the fucking jugular and I hate that. But...it's passion, and I do want me some passion.

c. I have the Pokemon theme song in my head. ADVANCED BATTLE! I also have a growing fixation for Pikachu. It's so cute and cuddly and when it says "PIKA!" it kinda makes my heart melt a little.

But please, get this theme song out of my damn head!

d. Anyway, rock on. I'm tired. I'm waiting for my brother to get here. The funeral's on Saturday, my dad's coming and that should be interesting. That is all. Have a nice day.