27 years old and freaking out about growing up

October 16, 2006

So on Saturday, my mom and I went to this craft-fair type of deal called Market in the Meadow. We've been going there together almost every year for a really long time. It's a junior high where our old house that I grew up in is, so, yeah.

She wasn't as excited as I was but the deal is, she's moving to Utah in less than a year and this will be the last time we'll probably ever go together. This whole "my mom is moving a billion miles away" thing is kind of squicking me out and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it, but I guess...we'll see.

Anyway, that's not the point. Since it is in our old neighborhood, it's almost guaranteed that we'll see somebody we know. And this year, we saw someone we both knew, which was an old friend of mine and her family, whose dad worked for my dad back in the day.

My friend, Courtney, if you will, looked exactly the same, but her daughter was with her. Her daughter looked to be about 8 years old. Now, I'm sure when Courtney saw me (and she hasn't seen me for probably about 10 years) she thought, "Damn, she's gained a few!" Which is okay, because I was thinking, "Damn, got started early, huh?" Because I'm totally a judgmental bitch like that.

But I was thinking about it later, and right now I'm at the age where everything goes, it seems. If you have a family, you're a little young but it's not unusual. And if you aren't married and don't have kids, that's perfectly acceptable as well. Now, if we were 24 and Courtney had this 8 year old kid, that would be different. But we're 27 now and she probably had the kid when she was 20 and that's young but not that young and who am I to judge anyway? There wasn't a husband-looking figure around when I saw her on Saturday but that doesn't mean she doesn't have one, and even if she doesn't, what the hell am I really even talking about?

My point is, again, at 27 it seems like anything can go. Like this new show, The Class, I think is a perfect example of that. Some have careers, some are just hanging around. Some have children, some are completely single. It's nice to have that freedom, but it's also starting to drift toward the years where having less freedom is the norm. I don't know if I'm looking forward to that or not.

Which brings me to my next subject...I'm moving out of my apartment at the end of next month. My current apartment is lovely, I've never had any problems, but I would kind of like to be closer to work, less in the ghetto, and maybe get something bigger. Also important is the fact that Josh would probably be moving in at some point and so would the doggy queen Iris. She's a little girl so that's not really a big deal, but what is a big deal is like...moving in together. I think it would be a good thing to do to see if this relationship is as strong as we like to think it is, but I'm also kind of freaking out about it. We've been together for 10 months now, so taking it to the next level sometime in the future would be a good thing to do.

I like my independence. I love going to his house and playing with doggies and hanging out and doing what we do, and when he comes to my house and cooks for me and does other menial tasks I demand him to do. But I also like coming back to my apartment, vegging out on my sofa and watching House Hunters (a new addiction) and then talking to him on the phone before I go to bed. It will be interesting, and I'm scared and excited and all that fun stuff. I'm not sure when this will happen, probably not in the next couple of months, but eventually. Because seriously? We've been doing really well for the last month or so. We had a month of fighting and now it's been a very nice month of getting along. I'm just not at the point yet where I think we're done with that whole fighting part of the relationship and I think that living together will create a whole new dimension to that, but it also means we can see each other whenever we want, more sex than a girl could handle (morning sex is the best ever!!), a preview for what married life is like...and all that stuff.

I can keep talking forever but...I won't.

Other stuff...I am not really enjoying work right now. I don't know...I really want to be a senior editor and everytime I have to ask one of the senior editors something, my heart dies a little. I'VE BEEN HERE LONGER THAN THEM!!! In fact, out of like, 12 editors, I have been here longer than 9 of them. It's me and 2 other people, one of them being my boss, that's been here the longest. And that? Makes me craaazzzy.

I've also been making a few dumb mistakes and I don't know, it's just not really fun anymore and I don't seem to be getting a lot out of it. That might have to do with doing 49 hours of overtime in the last month, so for the next couple of weeks I'm definitely going to be taking a break from that crazyness. My next check is gonna be good, y'all. I like money.

I really like the song "Somewhere over the Rainbow." It makes me tear up.

Also, the show Brothers and Sisters makes me happy. It's my new best friend.

I really, REALLY need to go work out now and writing this entry is just hardcore procrastinating that fact. So...rock on.