Wanting more, Kerry, and groupies.

November 02, 2004

Blah blah election blah. I wasn't even going to vote today and I was going to be all "I am exercising my American right to not participate in this election!" I really am not a fan of either of our fine candidates, so I was just going to take the easy way out.

But, fortunately, my roommate gave me a guilt trip about it last night and made me feel bad, so this morning I had to drive 45 minutes to Denton because I neglected to register in Dallas. So, good times.

I was STILL undecided about who I was going to vote for when I was driving to Denton today. Ralph Nader wasn't even on our ballots here, but I could have written him in. What ultimately made me decide was listening to Howard Stern this morning. He made some good points and I learned some stuff and of course I sucked it up and voted for Kerry.

THAT'S RIGHT! KERRY, BIZNATCHES! But of course I live in Texas and really, my vote doesn't count for shit. But good times anyway.

I can't help but kinda sorta dwell on the fact that on Election Day 4 years ago, Matt finally sacked up and asked me to "go steady" for the first (and ONLY) time. Of course that lasted for a whole 4 months and then SHE came into the picture, but I digress.

I am talking to him right now and it's annoying because we are just not on the same page. He said some really nice and squishy things about some stuff, but it's not the kind of stuff that I really want to hear. I want more. That's all.. I just want more.

I am so hornified lately, man! I look at every single boy that I have more than a 5 minute conversation with, and then I'm all, "Oooh, I want to MARRY that boy! He's my DREAM boy!" My mom says that it's almost refreshing that I'm acting like that because when I was in my weird Matt haze for so many years, I never noticed ANYTHING. Well, yeah, great. I just wish I had the confidence to instigate something instead of just drooling all over myself.

But that was a tangent, and I apologize.

*****

So yesterday I went to Borders and started the lovelyness that is Nanowrimo. I thought that I'd get at least 2,000 words in 2 hours, but I guess I'm just a fast typer because I did 4,606 in 2 hours! I am seriously impressed with myself. I am also impressed with how easy it is for me to pull things out of my ass. This story is not going to be hard to write. At all. I will probably finish early and then have to write another one or something. I have confidence in my abilities.

It's turning out to be a lot more dark and A LOT more sexual than I thought it would be, but it's about a groupie, so I guess that just goes along with it.

I have decided to put it online, so if you dare, go for it. I'm really excited about writing it this year! And I'm even more excited about finally possessing a laptop so that I can fire it up anywhere and get my Nano on.

Sex, drugs, and rock and roll! What more can a girl want?!

*****

Speaking of sex and drugs, tonight is my small group. I am looking forward to seeing my fun retreat people again. It should be interesting.

Also, I have my BIG BIG job interview on Thursday. So much time has passed that I've calmed down a lot about it, but I'm still nervous and I'm still pinning a lot of my hopes and dreams on this one position. Which is bad. But.. I want it. Badly. A lot.

Also, I really hate my hair lately and if I had any money at all, I'd chop the shit out of it.

I have to pee.

VOTE OR DIE!

*****

a year ago..
"When it was over, I dragged him to the porn store because I had some movies that were due, and also because I wanted to show the guys that work there that I had some kind of boy in my life. Sure, he's gay as Christmas, but they don't need to know that."

3 years ago...
"It's Friday and I'm still at my dorm because BB wanted to go to a football game last night. I enjoyed my night alone, and I need to do that more often. I need to learn that I don't need to do everything he wants to do, and I don't have to feel guilty about not wanting to do it. That's hard for me, because I've always had the attitude "Well, it's important to you, and I want to be supportive, so I'll go with you!"