Grandma, fist fights and unbelievableness

May 02, 2006

I have a question tonight, perhaps the most important question ever-
How the HELL is Sebastian Bach still so goddamn hot? I mean, seriously! He's hosting the 40 best Metal videos on VH1, and yum. I will never get over that man.

My other sexy man, you might know him as Josh, is being so good to me lately. He cleaned my apartment! He found my class ring that I haven't seen in years! He made me cinnamon rolls to bring to work this morning! And dude, the sex. The sex is still so unbelivable that I can't even tell you how unbelievable it is because then you just wouldn't believe me.

So today I learned that in the meeting I missed on Thursday at work, my boss announced that she's leaving at the end of June. Um, is it a bad sign when all the management of a company starts jumping ship as fast as they can? Everyone is leaving and it's making me nervous. I asked her about it and she said the company isn't in trouble, and we're the office that's gonna expand, so I shouldn't worry about it. But geez louise...we're going through some annoying changes right now and no one's really sure how to deal with that right now.

It's just that this job is really the best situation for me right now. I'm good at it, it's pretty easy, I don't have to worry about it when I get home, I make decent money and I'll make even more after June, and I just like it a lot. I like my co-workers a lot. I've been there a year and 3 months and I have 2 weeks built up of vacation time and I think I've earned a good reputation, at least for my work ethic. I don't want to have to start all over again. Anyway. That's boring.

We're also still working on the math videos for community college and I think that instead of hating them I'm just going to have to learn to embrace them. If I just kinda zone out and let the math words float in and out of my brain, it's not that bad. I'd rather be working on something like Sanford and Son or anything else other than math, but hey, it's my job. You gotta do what you gotta do.

In other news, I took part of Thursday and all of Friday off to take care of the grandma situation. My brother and I stayed at my mom's house and tried to keep her from going too crazy. The funeral was on Saturday, and it was okay, as far as funerals go. I cried. My mom cried. My brother even cried, which I don't even think I've ever seen before.

My dad was there too, that was pretty cool. I read a poem and my brother read something he wrote. It was nice. It was open casket which really kinda freaked my shit out. She looked good, but she also looked like she'd pop up at any second and say, "What the hell is going on here?"

I also heard some really interesting stories about her. My grandma was...different. For the past 15 years it's been almost impossible to get her out of the house, for one thing. She was kind of a melancholy person to be around, but she was also funny and smart and very knowledgeable about the world around her. She totally and completely accepted my brother's homosexuality and would always joke about it with him. She was awesome, just not in conventional ways.

But yeah, as most people would tell you, we're all kind of relieved she's gone now. For the past month or so it was obvious that she didn't want to be here, so finally her pain ended. My mom stayed at her house around the clock the last couple of days, but apparently she died the second my mom left to get a cup of coffee. She didn't want my mom to be around to hear it, I guess.

The most interesting part of the weekend was when my 31 year old brother and 72 year old stepfather almost got into a fist fight. I seriously freaked out like a little girl and didn't help the situation at all. My mom, of course, had to settle things down and by the end of the night all was well and everyone was forgiven. The fun part of this was the fact that we were at my dad's farm at the time, and if anyone was going to have a fist fight, I assumed it was going to be my dad and stepdad. Even though they've always gotten along, I wish they'd fight a little. It just seems right.

In other news, I really want to lose weight but I have no desire to stop eating like a gigantic fat person. Also, I never seem to have time to work out, although I'm sure I could fit it in if I REALLY wanted to. This time last year I was losing buckets of weight and that just makes me sad that I can't seem to do it this year. You know, if I was happy at this weight, that would be one thing. But I'm not. I love the feeling of losing weight. I love waking up in the morning and KNOWING for sure that I have lost weight. So I'm not sure what's holding me back. If I knew the answer to that, I would have figured the whole thing out a long time ago.

You know what's a good movie? Grandma's Boy. I thought I'd hate it and then Josh made me watch it and I laughed about 700 times. Seriously. It's a quality movie.

I think I should shut up now. Don't you?