raging bitches, pearl jam, and doggie poo.

November 12, 2004

Yesterday in my oh so glamorous life:

- I took PD for a walk and when he was taking a big doggie dump, a guy came out of his apartment and said, "Can you clean that up, please? My kitchen window is RIGHT THERE!" I didn't have a bag, so I took PD back inside, got a bag and some paper towels, searched for the poop, picked it up, threw it in the dumpster. Yum.

- Stayed home all night, cleaned the apartment, watched Joey, Will and Grace, and CSI. Was all up in arms about CSI because it looked like Grissom and this other chick were having some kind of flirtation going on, and that's just not allowed to happen! Gil and Sara for life, dude. But man alive.. Billy Petersen in a tux with a beard should be illegal. Very good stuff, people.

- Found myself in my dad's office having a panic attack and crying because "my boss is being mean to me!" And dude.. yesterday she was being a total raging bitch, and that's just not something I'm used to. She's been bitchy before, but it's never been directed towards me.

I was going to confront her about it because that's what I do when I know someone hates me. I want to get it out in the open. But my mom, who has worked in an office environment far longer than I have, strongly advised me against it and I see that she is right about that. If my mom wasn't my voice of reason, I'd like.. be living on the street or something. My mom makes me be subtle about things when I really don't want to be, but I'm starting to realize and recognize the fact that being subtle and not confronting everyone about my feelings is really the way the world works. It goes against my nature totally and completely, but that's how it goes, I guess. I learn something new everyday.

My boss and I had a bit of an altercation over the fucking payroll checks. See, I would like to get paid. And see.. she wants to wait until it's closer to the 15th. But it's Friday! The weekend is upon us! And I have no money for gas! And she always pays us a few days early! But oh no, not this time. No, let's wait until everyone is so fucking broke they can't pay for gas and have to pay for breakfast in quarters. I seriously think she was just doing it to piss me and my other coworker off. It's just that kind of environment here right now.

I know she's probably just a bit disappointed that I didn't get that job, and maybe that's why she's directing all her anger at me. Whatever, it sucks. She made me cry yesterday. Seriously!

Hmmph.

- I wrote a really delicious sex scene in my novel that turned me on. I have the ability to write stuff that turns me on! I don't know if that's sad or not. It probably is. But now I'm up to 26,000 words and I know I'll be doing some hardcore writing this weekend at the farm. I hope to be at 35,000 by Monday night. Yeah man.

It's not going the way I had imagined it, but it's still good. The rock star my MC falls in love with isn't your typical star. He doesn't do drugs, he doesn't drink, he doesn't have sex with groupies.. but she IS a groupie, and she does do drugs, and she does drink! Can you see where this is going? Poor bitchy MC. Karma is a bitch.

I still think my first Nano novel was my best work ever. It's my baby.

- I had to tweeze my eyebrows because I can't afford to get them waxed. Tweezing is something I hate doing more than anything else in the world. It's just like waxing, only it keeps going on and on and on! At least with waxing the pain is gone in seconds and then it's done with. But tweezing is like extra special torture.

Today I am eagerly anticipating the farm and having a panic attack about getting paid. My boss is out smoking a cigarette and it doesn't look like she's too worried about payroll checks. My dad leaves early on Friday and who knows if I'll get to his office in time to get the checks signed. Plus, now that we moved, it's a whole 46 miles there and back to his office. Do I get paid for mileage? Uh, no. Thanks for playing.

I am highly disgruntled and frustrated with life in general today. I am glad that I get to spend the weekend surrounded by puppies and Farm Guy. That is the only thing that is not making me want to run into the middle of traffic today.

I also really want to see Bridget Jones like.. RIGHT NOW. But NO FUCKING MONEY.

But I'm listening to the "All Pearl Jam" station on AOL right now and that is making it somewhat better.

Rawr.

*****

a year ago...
"But that's my Guns N Roses story. I will always answer the "What's your favorite band?" question with the simple "Guns N Roses." Although lately I've been tempted to say Coldplay instead, but I just don't have the heart to do it. Axl will always be my favorite, whether I like it or not. "Don't Cry" is still my all time favorite song. I still jam to GN'R albums on rare occasions. I have almost all the GN'R MP3's and I still scream along to every song. It's in my blood now. There's nothing I can do about it."

2 years...
"I did, however, manage to solve the "I'm so pathetic that I'm going to sit here and stare at his screen name and obsess over why he's not IMing me" problem. I just don't sign on with that particular screen name anymore, and therefore he can't IM me and I don't see him on my buddy list. It's all mind game, and yes, I realize how extremely pathetic this whole thing is, but we've always talked on IM. The dude hates the phone, and when I'd have 3 hour conversations with my boyfriends on the phone, it's all IMs and email for us."

3 years..
"I'm so boy crazy, aren't I? Always talking about Math Boy and Angel Boy and most importantly, BB. But when it comes down to it, I know I wouldn't ever really do anything that would jeopardize me and BB's relationship. I mean, I love the guy. He promised me, when we get our own house, we'll have a room just for our dogs. It'll be called the "Puppy room." Come on, how cute is that?"