A lot, but all.

June 05, 2006

So I'm working on Alf and I've done 5 episodes today and I'm over it, so here's an entry because I'm bored and that's what I do.

I have become completely obsessed with looking for houses. I am going to be buying a house (with the help of a trust fund, yes, I am a big snob, what do you want from me?) by the end of the year and I've been looking at houses in my price range online. I've never actually been in any of them yet, but I'm just...obsessed. I'm going to get an agent and really start looking when we get back from the Vegas trip and I'm really, really excited. Like, obsessively excited. I want me a house, damnit! Well, a townhouse. You know.

I am excited about owning property but I'm more excited about having a place of my own, a place to decorate and paint and make my own unique style and stuff. I don't even know what my style is, really. So that's fun! I think it's fun. Anyway.

In other news, I met my dad's new girlfriend last night. To describe her looks, I put a label on her: she's very Dallas. Frosted hair, big lips, big boobs, yeah. Just kinda synthetic. But she's really, really nice and we talked about a lot of stuff and I actually kinda like her alot. She is, of course, 38 and my dad is, of course, 62. But it would be no fun if it wasn't that way, right?

Also, I'm really, really tired of being fat. Like, I'm sick of it. I'm tired of my big giant stomach and my thighs rubbing together and not being able to fit in cute clothes and searching my entire closet on a Sunday night when I have like less than 10 minutes before I have to leave and not finding anything that looks remotely good and wishing that I could just wear a damn tank top like normal people when it's 95 degrees outside. I'm tired of it, man. I just am.

What am I doing about it? Well, it's a slow process, but I think I'll get there eventually. I've been working out a little more than usual, going to my trainer, eating at least a little tiny bit better. Like, on Saturday I really wanted Josh to make me some pancakes but instead I had a chicken sandwich! And instead of going to On The Border and slamming down the mexican food, we went to Quizno's and I had a turkey sub! That's good, but it's just a start. I just wish I didn't have so much to lose, so far to go, you know? I really shouldn't have let myself get to this point in the first place, but hey...we all make mistakes. I've made my share.

I'm just tired of it and I hope to really just make the decision to do it and get it over with for good. I've proven to myself in the past that it's really not THAT hard to lose weight. It's just not. It does suck and it does involve a lot less Freebirds in my life, but what can I do? I gotta do what I gotta do.

In other news: I hate cramps. I hate bleeding. I hate everything associated with "That time of the month." But for the past 3 months my period has come at the exact same time (Saturday night!) and for that, I am kinda thanful. I guess the birth control pills are finally regulating me so that I have an actual regular period! That was TMI but my sistas with the polycycsticness know what I'm talkin' about.

So Josh and I saw the Break Up on Saturday. First of all, it was kinda fun to actually go to a theater to see a movie with him...we haven't done that in 9 years, literally. And while we used to do things in movie theaters that you just don't want to hear about, we managed to behave ourselves this time. Mostly because there was about 900 people in the theater.

The movie itself was actually more depressing than funny. I mean, yikes..it hits a nerve if you've ever been through a break-up, which we all have. It's just kind of...yikes. I liked it but it's really hardcore. And, of course, my intense appreciation for Jennifer Aniston still exists. I love her. I want to be her. It's kind of a sickness.

My mom is now in Utah for the summer. Alison's gone to Colorado, Natalie is now living in California. It kinda makes me wonder about Texas, really.

I'm sure I should get back to work at this point. I miss Josh. He is sick and that's not good and I'm gonna go try to nurse him back to health in my own little way. Aww. Young love.

That is all. A lot, but all.