Carpooling: to be or not to be? Plus more fanfic then you could possibly ever want!

August 19, 2007

Well, I had a fun week of doing absolutely nothing interesting in the slightest. How was your week?

I was going to work out every day and be all awesome with the new schedule. Of course I didn't do that because apparently adjusting from going to bed at 4 AM to 11:30 PM fucks your innards all up. My body and mind were all confused last week. But it's all better now. I am cured! And such.

Work was interesting this last week. There's not a lot of us left, but most of us have been around for at least 2 years, so at least we have the group dynamic going for us. I also kind of forgot how there are actual deadlines during the day, and while I missed my first one on Monday by 20 minutes (damn you, Rescue Me!), I made them the rest of the week. I made 2 on Friday, even! It was all very exciting.

Oh, and remember when I had a nemesis at work? And I hated her a lot with a passion and quite frequently? Well, ever since I got my promotion and had different hours then her, she is not my nemesis anymore. And now, apparently, we are carpooling together. She sent me a message yesterday on myspace (of course, where else?) asking if I wanted to and I automatically said yes because I would kind of seem like an asshole if I said no, because we literally live like, right next door to each other. The dude who usually took her to work was, well, fired, so he can't anymore. And now that we have the same hours...I suppose it's my turn.

But then I started thinking about it, and it's been hurting my brain for 24 hours now. I am not quite used to answering to anyone about what I do during the week. I usually kind of make a decision about how I will spend my week on Monday, like when I'll do overtime, when I'll go to Josh's, and when I'll work out. Now I have to factor another person into it. And when I spend the night at Josh's, which I do at least once during the week, I won't be able to pick her up in the morning. So that's not a very effective carpool and I'm kind of regretting that I said yes at all.

And then, it even goes deeper then that, because Nemesis kind of has more pull at work then I do. (By the way, for the past month or so, I've completely forgotten how to use "then" and "than". Seriously, I have no idea when I should use then and when I should use than. I used to know. And now I don't. It's weird.) And I almost feel like, if I said no, she'd tell everyone that I didn't want to carpool with her, and then everyone would hate me, and there's seriously only 6 of us left and I don't want to be hated by everybody! Am I making too big of a deal out of this? Is this really going to fuck up my life in the way that I imagine it will? If you have an opinion, let me know, because I'm seriously stressing about it in a ridiculous kind of way.

In OTHER news...I went to the farm this weekend. It was lovely. It was also HOT AS SHIT, but it's Texas and it's August, so I guess this is the part where I suck it up. Anyway, I bonded with my puppy doggy. When I first got there yesterday, I took a nap on the sofa. Charlie isn't usually allowed on the sofa but my dad wasn't around, so I let him. And he got on top of the sofa because that's what he does. And we both slept for like 10 minutes until we were interrupted by mean humans. It was very lovely while it lasted.

Josh and I are getting along quite lovely lately. Actually, for a while now. I think we have bonded through Guitar Hero 2, although he's so much better than I am. He's quickly making his way through Expert level while I'm still trying to make my way through Hard. I was stuck on Search and Destroy for weeks. I got past it today, though. Yay! Happy times.

In boringness news, I finished my epic fanfic yesterday, and I'm kinda sad about it. I started it on May 18th and ended it on August 18th. It's 20 chapters, 59,000 words, about 103 pages single-spaced. It's dorky and it will never be anything more then a fanfic, I can't publish it or really do anything with it at all, but I'm really proud of it. I'm more proud of it then I am of my novels that I've written for Nanowrimo. Is that sad? Maybe. But what's sadder is I'm going to share with you my favorite sentences from the story. This is where you can tune out if you couldn't give a shit at all. Before you go, leave me a comment about the carpooling thing, because I have no idea. If it makes you feel better, I was also quoting fanfiction 3 years ago, as well. Yay, dork!

From chapter 20:

Holly Laura Sidle-Grissom was the product of Gil and Sara's love for each other. After so many years, after so much time lost to gazing at each other fondly but doing nothing about it, they had a daughter, a marriage, and a love for each other that was growing each day. Sara never stopped fighting for the love she knew she wanted. And when she was ready to give up, Gil stepped in and took over from there. Their love was real, real enough for the both of them, and in loving each other they let go of the past that bound them to the way they were. They were no longer the person they saw themselves as; they were now what the other thought they were capable of being. Sara was a beautiful, intelligent woman with legs to die for, and Grissom was a brilliant, sexy man who loved bugs. And they had Holly now. They were a family, and they were complete.

Awww.

From chapter 17:

Gil thought about that when he went home to rest before having dinner with Catherine. He told Sara that her happiness comes first, and at the time he really meant it. He wondered if that was an empty promise made in the early days of a love affair; the kind you whisper in your lover's ear and then forget about when a certain amount of time has passed. Would he do that now, after 2 years together? Would he kiss her if there was any kind of chance they could get caught, even if it would make her happy? The sad thing was, he didn't know if he would.

From chapter 14, my favorite chapter...

And yet, there was something else going on, something unseen by most of the people in the waiting room that night. Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle could not stop looking at each other. Nicky was the closest person Grissom had to a son, and the only person Sara could think of as a best friend. Seeing him in that coffin, watching the ants slowly attack him from every corner...something changed in both of them. Suddenly, they found any excuse to touch, which was strange for 2 people who had serious rules about comfort bubbles. An understanding was developing between the two of them without one word spoken. Something was going to happen, and neither of them wanted to wait any longer.

And, this might be my favorite line of the entire story...

They both woke up a few hours later with only one thing on their mind. This time, Grissom pinned her wrists down and entered her with an interesting aggressiveness that turned her on in a way she never experienced. And as she came again and again, she thought to herself, it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be like this.

From chapter 15...
"It may be longer then a week or two," she said softly, refusing to look at him.

"What do you mean? Why would you want to stay longer then that? You only have a week or two left of leave."

"Yeah, Grissom, I know that. I may just stay here. I've been talking to Martin and I think I may get my job back here. I think it would be good for me."

"Sara...the lab needs you. You're the best CSI we've got," he said, a silent pleading in his voice, a tinge of desperation.

And Sara was hurtled back 5 years to when she first presented him with her leave of absence. Just like back then he didn't say what both of them wanted him to say: I need you. Fuck the lab, I need you, god damn it!

"It sucks, doesn't it? To need something and not get it."

They looked at each other, pain permeating the atmosphere around them. They knew this place. They were comfortable in this place. It was the other part, the being together part, that was hard.

Sara wanted to be the first to walk away, but he surprised her. He walked away. And he didn't look back.

From chapter 11, my second favorite...

Her thoughts then turned to where they would inevitably go every time she closed her eyes; to when she stood behind the glass of the interrogation room, listening to him reject her over and over and over again to a bitter stranger, the whole time thinking how could he not know that I'm standing right here? The man, a Dr. Lurie, told Grissom, "I'm still here." And Grissom replied, "Are you?" And Sara wondered the same thing. Was she still there, pining after a man who couldn't even admit to her face to face that while he had feelings for her, he just couldn't...wouldn't act on them?

And...

This is rock bottom, she thought. It has to be. When she came to Vegas, she had no idea it was going to be like this. Had she known, she would have spared everyone the trouble and stayed in San Francisco, where she obviously belonged. Maybe she and Chris would have been married by now, talking about kids with a gleam in their eye.

But she knew that wouldn't be the life for her. It had always been Gil Grissom, and even if she never did wind up with him, at least she went down fighting.

I could do this all night, but it's almost midnight and obviously it's time I go to bed. Rock ons!