I hate you! AKA New Years Resolutions.

December 31, 2007

So I will never understand what makes a person ask another person, "Oh, when are you due?!" when that person has not otherwise suggested that they may be pregnant. Seriously, I just don't get it. Explain it to me.

Yesterday I was at Whataburger, because I like it. I got a burger and 3 cookies 'cause when those cookies are hot, they are most definitely best ever. So I pull up and my first hint is when the lady called me "Mama." Then she says, "Wow, 3 cookies!" like I'm the fattest person in the world and I'm obviously retarded for getting 3 cookies. I get my burger, my cookies, I'm happy. Then she says, "So when are you due?" I was like, uh, what? I thought she said, "So what do you do?" And then she pointed at her stomach and did that whole rocking a baby thing, and I was like, "Uh, bye."

Seriously, why? I am not pregnant. It should suggest to you that I am at Whataburger getting food high in calories and fat, thus I am probably high in calories and fat. So why can't I just be fat and not pregnant?

And it's always the sisters who are doing it. Why do black women want me to be pregnant? One lady asked me when I was at the gym. I was all, "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'M AT THE FUCKING GYM DAMN IT WOMAN!" And the other time was when I was at Lane Bryant. Hello, a store that sells clothing for overweight women. Why can't I just be fat? Why do you have to comment on that fact? I hate you. Let me be fat in peace.

I get it. I need to lose weight. I haven't worked out much this year. I have eaten a lot this year. But there's a new year coming up, and that's what resolutions are for, right? I would like to say that my number one priority this year is losing weight. It's not to get a better job, which I should probably do. It's not to make more money or get a house or make more friends or decide what the hell I want from my relationship or write a short story that doesn't have anything to with fanfiction, although I do want to all of those things. I need to lose weight. Before I do anything else, I need to lose weight. I've done it before, I can do it again, and I have to. Because fuck you, I'm not pregnant, and leave me the hell alone about it!

I'm not happy at this weight. My face is gigantic and puffy. My butt actually kind of hurts 'cause it's so big. I hate my legs. My legs used to be somewhat muscular and nice, now they're just fat. So, yeah. I get it. I know what I need to do. So fuck off, Whataburger lady. Fuck off hard.

So, resolutions:
1. LOSE WEIGHT, GOD DAMNIT!
2. Update my resume and apply to better jobs.
3. Write something that's not fanfic, enter at least one writing contest.
4. Figure out what I want to do about my relationship.
5. Do not buy lottery tickets or gamble at all. (Might be the hardest one!)
6. No McDonalds. Seriously, none.
7. Take my pills. Take vitamins. Take anything that will help with anything.

That is all.