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Holding myself accountable and other such things.

March 01, 2008

I'm 11 minutes late, but it's still kind of February 29th. Amirite?

I originally posted this in my LJ, so if you're all, "But we already knew that about you!" well, the LJ people don't! Okay then. Are we cool?

I find it necessary to post an entry on this day that only comes every 4 years. So here I am. Yay.

I'd like to share 2 pictures with y'all today in order to hold myself accountable for my number one goal this year, that being to lose some weight, damn it! I've been falling off the train these past couple of weeks and I feel myself getting to that place where I say, "fuck it, I'll just be fat forever." That's not okay. So here's some pictures that I'd like to share.

This first picture is from December of 2002. I had just graduated from college, like, days before. I didn't have a job or anything lined up; all I knew was that I was going to ditch everything and move to Austin. I was going through an awful, heartbreaking break-up from the dude I dated for 5 years. I had found out recently that he was now dating someone else, someone that caused issues in our relationship a few years back. So, in other words, I was in bad shape. Mentally AND physically. See?

I know, right? I was probably bigger there than I've ever been. I wasn't working out and I was doing some old fashioned stress eating.

Now this picture is from June of 2003. It's about 6 months after the last picture. Now, I was mostly unemployed that year and I worked out EVERY SINGLE DAY for HOURS. So that contributed to it. I still ate like a pig but not as much as usual. I was also still quite depressed but I was turning it around because I was making friends and a life for myself other than the ex boyfriend. So here's me and my brother at the gay pride parade in Austin:

And what you can't see in that picture is that I'm wearing shorts. 2003 has been the only year I've worn shorts confidently since, I don't know, 1999. And I haven't been able to since then. My legs aren't THAT scary, it's just that I don't think the world wants to see them at this point.

There's probably about a 30 pound weight difference in those pictures. I'm closer to the first one then I am the second one right now. But it's important to know that there's only 6 months in between those pictures. It doesn't take forever to lose weight and feel confident about what I wear, and that's one of the excuses I always, always make. I'm getting so frustrated with that crap, and the reason I'm putting this out there in the universe is so everyone knows that I really just don't have anymore excuses. So...there it is.

In completely different news, I wrote this awesome fic today that isn't getting a lot of response. So, you know, if you're into that kind of thing, read it! It's a happy ending for Grissom and Sara, I swear!

I've also been working on an MSCL fanfic for a few weeks that I should finish at some point. MSCL is harder than CSI since there was only 19 episodes ever, but I know them all so well and it shouldn't be this difficult.

I think I will now shut up.

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