Random thoughts at 1:52 AM

April 20, 2007

Hi. As you can see by my fancy layout, my gold membership ran out and I have yet to get another one. I get paid tomorrow so I will do so, but meanwhile, yeah. Plus, I've had a help request into D-land for maybe possibly just about a year now because my archives just fucking refuse to show up and Andrew has not answered it or even acknowledged it in any way, which irritates me because I've been here for nearly 6 years and I've always renewed my gold membership. Come on, Andrew! Where's the love?!

Anyway.

Something important to know: I have a crush on Bam Margera. Like, majorly.

Josh is male and therefore enjoys Jackass and such like that. I watched the second movie with him a few months ago and was hereby introduced to the hotness that is Bam Margera. Last week I watched like 8 episodes in a row of Bam's Unholy Union, and I have to say...that boy is a pain in the ass but god is he cute! There's just something so endearing about the guy! See? (Thanks to my austinliz account that has not run out of gold membership yet!)

And:

Yargh, I say. Yargh!

Things I have learned about him today: He and his new wife Missy (who I really didn't like at first but she totally grew on me, mostly because she really completely loves the guy even though he likes to destroy things and has complete idiots for friends) went on their honeymoon in Dubai, which is awesome. He was born in September 1979, which makes him just a few weeks older than me. His real name is Brandon. Oh, and he's REALLY HOT.

Urm, anyway.

Speaking of hot, CSI wasn't new this week. But there's still 4 episodes left. I am trying very hard not to read spoilers but from what I've seen, it seems like Sara might not be joining us for season 8. No one's sure if Jorja Fox has renewed her contract yet, so that's unpleasant. I'm going to say right now: if they kill Sara off, I won't be watching the next season. It just wouldn't be the same without her and the good old fashioned love she has with my friend and yours Gil Grissom.

I am writing my Lady Heather fanfic. I swear this will be my last fanfic, but it's going to be like a freakin' epic. And then I really need to get going on my real, going to make me famous someday novel. It'll happen. Seriously.

In other real and relevant news to the world, Josh hasn't been to my apartment for a while (since New Years Day, actually!) because his dad was in the hospital and he didn't want to leave his mom by herself. Aw. Anyway, his dad is back now so Josh came over on Monday night and stayed until this afternoon. And seriously? We didn't have one single fight or argument or disagreement. He made me food (steak and shrimp, *drool*), we watched War of the Worlds and Deadliest Catch and Viva La Bam (also *drool*), we played plenty with Iris the Very Pregnant Boston Terrier, and this morning, at 6:32 AM, we had the best sex there ever was to have that was ever in the world. Seriously. Then we went back to sleep.

It was really, really good. Sometimes it makes me nervous when we get along so well, but, like, in a good way. I don't know how to better explain that particular feeling, so I will, in fact, not. But it is important to know that I love him very much. It is also important to know that god that boy is sexy. Like when he's wearing a short-sleeved shirt and just a little part of the tattoo on his arm is showing...gawd I'm such a slut for tattoos.

Urm, moving on.

Work is okay. For a good while I've managed to figure out a good balance. I know how much is expected of me, and I try to do just a little bit more than that. But I don't burn myself out at the time because I know how to do the job so well that I know exactly how long something will take and exactly how long I can allow myself to completely slack off, which I can do from time to time because I'm awesome like that. Sure, if I really wanted to I could do more work than anyone could really comprehend, but then I'd burn myself out and not have as much appreciation for the job that I do now. So it's all a balance and pretty much I've got it figured out. Which means sometime in the next year or so I should probably find something more challenging. Whatevs.

The new people that I was basically hired to help, they're like captioning robots. They're seriously so awesome at the job and between the two of them, they've asked me like...4 questions. It's kind of embaressing because I thought I was hired for this stupid swing shift to better help new people. Grawr! And stuff.

I'm eating a lot better lately. It's a nice feeling to not always eat crap. I feel like I've lost a few pounds but I don't have any kind of urge to weigh myself. Even if I have lost a few pounds, the number on that scale will not be pretty. I haven't been working out at all because my shoulder hurt pretty bad for a while, and also because I'm totally lazy. I will start working out again soon, I just don't know when. I have to, though, because...I just do. It makes me feel good and healthy and it makes me look less like a marshmallow.

My mom's friends are having a little party for her tomorrow and I really should go to sleep right about now so I can wake up at an appropriate enough time to get ready to attend. My mom is leaving on May 14th. I've decided I will not freak out about this. I won't, mmkay? I will allow it to happen. It will be fine. I've known about it for many, many years now. I'm way too attached and maybe her leaving is the kick in the ass I need. Or, also, maybe not.

And the song "Hurt" by Christina Aguilere, like...haunts me. I want to listen to it every second of the day. I don't know why, it's not like that song really applies to my life whatsoever. But I just really kind of love it. A lot.

Clearly I need to shut up now. So, good night and good luck. And rock on, too.